The Importance of Relationships

The Importance of Relationships

Many assume that a successful business depends on your product or service.  Yet 98% of top sales professionals say that relationships are the most important part of generating new business.  Think of the manager-employee relationship and compare it to products and services.  They both need to create trust and likability for this to work.  Factors that go into a person buying a product are quality of the product, trust in the company, and mutual benefit.  Factors that go into a great manager-employee relationship are quality of work, trust in the manager to keep his promises, and mutual benefits.  Can you see the similarities?  An absence of any of these hampers your success in developing a working relationship to get things done.

Our relationships, whether business or person, are nourished and shaped by the commitment we express through our actions.”  – Dr. Steve Maraboli

Never Make Assumptions

Never Make Assumptions

When I work with groups of leaders who need to build business relationships, I ask them to choose a partner based on specific criteria:

  1. Choose someone they do not know very well. Or at all.
  2. Choose someone who they believe is very different than they are.

It’s very interesting to see the results of this exercise.  Here’s an example: in one of my sessions, there was an African American woman who partnered with an Eastern European male who had blond hair and blue eyes.  After talking for a while, they discovered that despite their physical differences and assumed obvious cultural differences, they had more in common than either of them ever imagined.  The lesson to take away here is that our assumptions sometimes could not be further from the truth.  Always keep an open mind and stay curious.

Self-Identify

Self-Identify

This simple exercise and example will give you some insight into how you define yourself.   A strong self-identity will clarify your path in life and provide you with insight to bring laser-focus to your goals.

  1. List a few ways in which you self-identify.  Who are you?
  2. Think about what causes you to behave in these certain ways.

Let me use my statement to illustrate a point:  I identify as an executive coach of color who is curious why some people gravitate toward me while others retreat.

I didn’t start with this statement.  It took some thought and a lesson from a stranger.  Here’s what happened:  I used to identify as a coach.  I would tell people, “I am a coach.”  Then one day I overheard a European visitor in the US talking and he used the phrase “I do coaching.”  At that moment, it occurred to me that I Am a human being, not a human doing.  I changed my identity to be someone who does executive coaching and rethought my identity as an “I AM” statement.

Forging our Identity

Forging our Identity

How we identify with others gives us a sense of uniqueness and is what makes us an individual.  We naturally compare ourselves to others.  In a healthy way, this does not lead to jealousy. Rather, it serves to illuminate our traits in contrast to the traits of others.  It defines our role in society.

Examples of this are:

  • You might see yourself as a woman in contrast to a man.
  • You identify as a leader in contrast to another who might be a follower.
  • You are the designer of the product rather than the user.
  • You are creative rather than analytical. Or both!

Relationship Building for Hybrid Environments

Hybrid work environments have gained popularity over the past year and appear poised to remain an aspect of the future.  Some employees at the office and others working from home (full or part-time) can be difficult to unite.  Building a relationship becomes a whole new dynamic with both challenges and rewards.  Remote workers may have a disadvantage in terms of visibility, technology, and interpersonal social support. 

Management will want to review processes to ensure they treat all employees justly.  This involves creating more collaborative efforts and including all employees in the discussion.  Ask them what challenges they face and take their responses to heart.  When you are a hybrid employee, stay visible and involved in the group reaching out to fellow employees and management with any concerns.  There are many advantages to the hybrid workplace, yet building strong relationships isn’t one of them and this often leads to isolation.

Benefits of a Genuine Relationship

Benefits of a Genuine Relationship

Building relationships are central to being human.  We thrive on our connection with others and our desire to be a part of the bigger picture.  We have a longing to be a part of a community where we live, work, and play in unity.  This is a way of validating ourselves and our purpose.

One of the hallmarks of a good relationship is the fact that it provides a mutual benefit to the parties involved.  The way we define this benefit is unique. Here are some possible ways.

  • Build your Network – Creating a relationship with someone often leads to relationships with their contacts.  Of course, building a relationship based solely on who they might know is a recipe for disaster. Instead, genuinely getting to know someone can lead to more connections in the future.
  • Improve Essential Skills – Communication, empathy, and teamwork all improve through interaction with others.  Developing these skills leads to deeper connections.
  • Helps You Through the Hard Times – Solid relationships can help you both weather the ups and downs of the economy or a project.  A relationship can provide a sounding board and at least one person who solidly understands a situation.  The support must stay a two-way street.

Relationships can vary depending on the objectives of the parties involved.  There are three basic levels of working relationships to pursue: 

  1. To start building simple relationships, identify potential people that you would like to get to know and open the lines of communication.  As you get to know each other, recognize differences and conflicts of interest, and decide that the relationship should move forward for mutual benefit.
  2. As you proceed, start to develop more professional working relationships in individual, group, or team situations.  Engage and promote clear communication while recognizing any conflicts of interest and working through those to further mutual benefits.
  3. Advanced relationship building will allow you to develop external relationships that will create business opportunities and influence change.  These will create a network and expand your horizons. 

Here are some things to keep in mind while building relationships.  None of these is more important than the other and any of these can make or break the dynamic.

  1. Valuable Contribution – Relationships are give-and-take situations.  Each person must feel valued, and each person must provide value.  When either person feels the relationship is uneven, it will start to falter.
  2. Encouragement – Knowing that someone is on your side is extremely important.  A great relationship provides this benefit.
  3. Manage Expectations – Going into a relationship with thoughts that the other person is going to have all the answers and be your biggest cheerleader might set you up for disappointment.  Be realistic about what the other person can provide.
  4. Mentoring – Realize that you each have something to learn from the other.  You might set up a relationship with someone who is a role model.  Treat that relationship with respect and honor the information given.
  5. Confidentiality – Any relationship requires a sense of trust. When you share personal information, make sure you are clear and forthcoming that it is not to be shared with others.  Assume that it is not your story to tell unless you believe someone else is in harm’s way.
  6. Collaboration – Working together on an activity or project is a great way to build relationships. 
  7. Challenge – A relationship does not mean that you agree 100% of the time.  Knowing how to navigate this conflict and work through differences to reach a conclusion is vital.
  8. Honesty – This really is the best medicine.  Work relationships ebb and flow just like all others.  When something is not working, don’t wait for it to blow up in your face.  Have an open conversation.
Building Relationship

Building Relationship

The business of business is relationships; the business of life is human connection.”  – Robin Sharma

Our connection to others is a crucial part of life. How successful you are or what opportunities come your way often depends on the relationships that you build.  When a team melds cohesively, it can be due in a large part to the relationships that have been nurtured over time.  The relationship dynamic is complex and does not happen overnight.  It takes time and effort for two people.  What constitutes a good relationship in the workplace and how can one build authentic relationships that last?

Relationships Defined

Building a relationship can happen in many dynamics.  When you sell a product or service, you can develop a relationship with your customers by building trust and adding value.  This can be accomplished by providing excellent customer service, developing a quality product, and treating customers with respect.  Building personal relationships involves building trust, treating others with care, and recognizing the benefits of the union.  Building relationships in the business world is much the same.

Building Relationship is the process by which you tap into your ability to connect with others.  Then you move to develop, maintain, and strengthen that connection over time for the mutual benefit of you and the other person.  Let’s explore each of these areas.

Building relationships can be based on many different factors.  A common factor can be by sharing values or experiences or identifying commonalities that set you apart from others, yet draw you together.  You might meet someone at a trade show and find out that you both grew up in Michigan and are now both in Marketing.

A second way is by celebrating the differences that set you apart and in the same way, makes you curious.  For example, you love the ocean yet have always spent time in the Midwest.  You meet someone who lived there whole like at the water’s edge.  Your differences might lead to some interesting conversations.

A third way is by questioning your values and developing thought-provoking questions.  Persons of different cultures with open minds might offer each other a unique perspective of world events.  This could lead to some lively discussions. 

Building a relationship involves applying a set of skills that enable you to engage with the other person in such a way that creates comfort and encourages open and honest communication.  No matter what your background, these skills can bridge gaps.

Founder’s Corner: Legacy of Bringing Others Along: Developing People

Founder’s Corner: Legacy of Bringing Others Along: Developing People

What began in June of 2009 when I accepted the role as Skating Director of an organization was the start of building a legacy. While it was not the first thing on my mind, it quickly became a process I mounted when I was charged with increasing the bottom line by 25%. This was not an easy thing given the challenges that faced the company.

There were disgruntled coaches whose careers depended on fast change in how the organization was run. There were parents who were slowly giving up because of the lack of direction for their young athletes who depended on the facility for training hours that had dwindled over the years previous to my taking the lead. There also existed a skating club that lacked support and whose officers were exasperated with how the facility had lost its once glorious renown in the sport of figure skating history. Then there was me who was struggling trying to make ends meet after the financial meltdown of 2008 when the bottom fell out of the housing market impacting me directly.

Taking on this role provided me with a chance to financially recover while putting my training and belief in leadership to the test. I realized from the start that in order to turn the facility around, the support of everyone on staff was essential. So I began by scheduling a meeting with the coaching staff to brainstorm what was missing in their opinion and what commitments they were willing to make to change the frame from failure to success.

Following that meeting I walked away with four flip charts of ideas generated by the coaching staff and my work began. Over the next three years I would make my way through the list of changes that the coaches felt would make the facility viable again for competitive training. I launched a monthly newsletter to keep the staff and patrons abreast of what was happening and what was to come down the pipeline as we determined new programing, competitive pricing, training packages and the growing popularity of a Bridge Program designed to bring emerging talent from our Learn To Skate program from a facility a few miles away to the main training arena where I led the charge.

I thought about where we were headed and from where we began and laid out a plan to begin the journey. I supported coaches anyway that I could imagine. Over time the strategy worked out and we not only ran viable skating programs, we also began to draw some of our once lost customers back to our facility. It was during this time that a dear friend and colleague encouraged me to become Organizational Change Management certified in order to meet the challenge systematically.

At first I had no idea how I was going the change the organization. Yet after the training I received I began to agree with the notion that I knew more about Change Management than I ever imagined. In fact, I discovered I’d been doing Change Management for years in my various roles on skating club boards from directorships to the presidential level of leadership. Now I had the methodology and the education to approaching it more systematically.

By the end of my three year term, I had turned the facility around. It was now making money and our new problem was how to manage all the new members, and numerous wants that all factions of the organization brought to my feet. Once the program became profitable once again, I knew it was time to determine my replacement as I quickly approached my departure from the role. During that time I set my sights on who might be my ideal replacement. Once that person was identified, I brought them on as an assistant, showing them what I had created and how. I also began training my future replacement about how to manage the different personalities that required strong leadership to continue moving the needle in further in the direction of profitability and workability.

It was one of the most challenging undertakings I mounted in my life in leadership and it worked. I recall presenting at my last meeting in the role as director. I brought all those flipcharts of ideas from the first meeting I ran as director. We had accomplished all items on the list with the exception of two issues that we could not change. Everyone was pleased, even those who seemed to doubt by ability to make it all work. At the end of the meeting I announced my departure from the role as director when one of the junior coaches exclaimed, “You’re leaving? Now what are we going to do?” My response, “You have all helped to build this program back up to a viable level. I’ve coached many of you on how to optimize your role within the organization. It is now up to you to sustain it and in my place, you now have a new director.”

It was difficult to let go of what we all created together. Yet I knew it was time for me to go and pass the baton to someone else. So I did. Sometime following my departure I received an email from one of my most staunch resisters during my directorship, asking me to please return to my role. I was missed. That was confirmation enough for me that I’d done a good job by the organization and left them with a legacy of what can be done when you are committed.

The Role of Storytelling in Business

The Role of Storytelling in Business

Here’s an excerpt from the book ‘Leadership Presence’ by Kathy Lubar and Belle Linda Halpern:

“At a meeting where Kathy Lubar (Co-founder of The Ariel Group), once attended in Boston, where the audience was at least 75 percent Republican, the first speaker was a leading Democrat, (the late) Senator Edward Kennedy.

I looked around the room as Kennedy began speaking, and the expression on most of the faces seemed to say, “Oh God, do I have to listen to him one more time?” But Kennedy started his speech with a story and immediately you could feel the energy in the room change. For twenty minutes he told story after story, each with a clear point. He had the audience laughing and rapt at the same time. At the end he received an enthusiastic ovation and left the audience excited and energized. The next speaker was a Republican congressman who opened his talk with a graph and proceeded to show one chart after another and spoke of nothing bur dry facts and figures. After a few minutes of that, many attendees began reading their manuals and others went looking for coffee. Some even did the dreaded F-to-F (forehead to Formica). Only a few-clearly diehard Republicans visibly tried to pay attention. The energy and enthusiasm in the room had completely evaporated.”

This was the moment when Kathy realized the power of storytelling.

Being Accountable for the Advancement of Others

Being Accountable for the Advancement of Others

When you focus on building a legacy, often you end up considering the responsibility that comes with your power. Thinking in legacy mode will help you figure out where you can have the greatest impact. 

As you move up the corporate ladder and consider your legacy, succession planning takes on a new level of importance. You may look at the individual or individuals who might have the capacity to take on some of your responsibilities or you may look for the talent to take your position when you move on. This endeavor typically comes with several hurdles, as well as many positive results.

Challenges:

  • Long Learning Curve – Often, employees feel overwhelmed when faced with new processes, ideas and responsibilities. Leaders who adopt a patient mentoring mindset can help by working closely with an emerging leader and celebrating each small win.
  • Takes Time and Energy – It is likely that a leader will want to be prepared to make a significant investment of time and energy to guide the mentee along their journey. When emphasis is placed on ensuring the time is well spent, it is unlikely to feel like a burden to the mentor. Actually, it can feel quite rewarding in the end.
  • A Political and Complex Business Environment – Navigating company politics when advocating for an emerging leader may sometimes feel like you’re trying to avoid land mines that you can’t easily identify in advance. The pressure from above or below may be even more intense in instances where you meet resistance to your succession plan. Leaders often feel the weight of responsibility for helping the mentee achieve their dreams and fear making a costly error.

Positive Outcomes:

  • Employee loyalty tends to increase when career satisfaction is achieved. As a result of the mentorship of emerging leaders, typically the organization is more likely to retain its best talent.
  • Individuals who are on the cusp of achieving their full potential have a greater opportunity to advance in their careers and build new valuable leadership skills.
  • When leaders bring others along for the ride, they leave an indelible mark on talented individuals and the organization.
  • The followership created in developing new leaders becomes a support system for the leader mentoring and coaching them toward their success.