Author: Byron Darden

Founder’s Corner: Regenerative Language

Posted on by Byron Darden

I recently attended a conference where a large portion of my time was spent speed dating. No, it was not for a future intimate relationship with a partner for life. Instead, it was to learn more about hosting events to develop executive leaders, influence the next generation of leaders at the high school level, and champion a cause for being a fiduciary in managing the development of others as a Registered Life Planner.

What I noticed about the change in my behavior from day one to day two is that I started off being transactional and shifted to becoming relational. While I work with leaders to develop this very important skill, I wanted to use myself as a research subject for another skill I develop in leaders, and that is to become more self-aware. That requires listening to yourself in real time and noticing the difference between your intention and impact. Sometimes they do not align.

Hi, I’m Byron Darden with this edition of Leading with Purpose on Purpose. In this installment, we are exploring regenerative language. You might say it is the difference between trash talk, which boils down to a form of insulting, taunting, or boastful speech used to intimidate others, and its opposite, which amounts to praise, complimenting, or extolling for the purpose of lifting others up and speaking highly of people, places, events, or things.

Think about it. Which would you rather hear? When you are leading people, the second choice can surely make a difference in the kind of work environment people experience and their desire to remain a part of it.

Enjoy!

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Discover how The Language We Use Shapes the Environment We Create

The Language We Use Shapes the Environment We Create

Posted on by Byron Darden
Two professional women smiling and collaborating while looking at a laptop in a bright, modern office.

Think about the last conversation you had with a colleague, employee, or someone on your leadership team. Did your words encourage them to share their ideas, explore possibilities, or approach a challenge differently? Or did the conversation simply accomplish what needed to be done before everyone moved on to the next task?

We communicate throughout the day, giving instructions, asking questions, offering feedback, and making decisions. Yet we may give little thought to how the language we choose influences the people around us and the relationships we develop.

For leaders, those everyday conversations have consequences that extend well beyond the exchange of information. Words can reinforce existing ways of thinking, create barriers between people, or open opportunities for collaboration, innovation, and growth.

This is where regenerative language becomes particularly valuable. It encourages us to consider how our communication contributes to the development of people and the larger systems in which we work. By shifting from transactional exchanges to more relational conversations, leaders can help create environments where people feel valued, contribute their perspectives, and develop their capabilities.

And sometimes, that shift begins with something as simple as choosing a different word.

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Keep learning: What Is Regenerative Language?

What Is Regenerative Language?

Posted on by Byron Darden
Three-panel image illustrating connection, collaboration, and growth, featuring professionals working together, brainstorming ideas, and presenting business growth strategies.

Regenerative language is an approach to communication that transforms potentially negative or limiting interactions into opportunities for connection, collaboration, and growth.

It is language that goes beyond the frequently referenced phrase “do no harm,” which we commonly associate with the Hippocratic Oath, although those exact words do not appear in the original oath. Instead, it is language that actively supports and contributes to living, healthy systems.

It gives rise to choosing words that can shift mindsets to experience a worldview from mechanical control to living-systems care. In other words, moving from transactional to relational.

In a transactional environment, language tends to focus on tasks, performance, outcomes, and what one person needs from another. While these are necessary elements of organizational life, they represent only part of what makes an organization successful.

Relational language recognizes that people bring experiences, perspectives, aspirations, and capabilities to their work. It encourages leaders to consider the quality of the relationships they develop and how those relationships influence the larger organization.

Regenerative language takes this thinking a step further by asking how our words contribute to the continued development of people and the environments in which they work.

Think about the difference between telling someone, “I need you to fix this problem,” and asking, “What are we learning from this experience, and how might we approach it differently?”

Both statements address a situation requiring attention. The second creates an opportunity for inquiry, collaboration, and growth.

The words we choose can influence how people perceive their contributions, their relationships with colleagues, and their willingness to participate in creating something new.

That is the potential of regenerative language.

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Discover The Importance of Regenerative Language

The Importance of Regenerative Language

Posted on by Byron Darden
Close-up of hands gently holding a young green seedling with soil, symbolizing growth, nurturing, and new beginnings.

I frequently find myself asking leaders the number one reason employees leave a job. It isn’t always the money. It isn’t necessarily the commute. It isn’t even their distaste for the work as much as it may be their relationship with their direct supervisor.

You’d be surprised how many of us are unaware of the impact a toxic, negative work environment can have, especially when it includes limited opportunities for career growth and development.

Taking it a step further, when a leader fails to create an environment that thrives, there is less innovation, increased fear and anxiety, and growing dissatisfaction that eventually illuminates the path to the front door in search of greener pastures.

Harvard Business School faculty member and researcher Linda Hill captures the importance of creating the right organizational conditions in her book, Genius at Scale: How Great Leaders Drive Innovation, written with Emily Tedards and Jason Wild.

Hill and her fellow authors make the argument that in order for innovation to exist, leaders must create the environment for innovation to happen.

For this reason, I strive to create an environment for leaders to develop this ability in how they show up on the job so that the teams they lead have what they need to be successful.

Without an environment that is adaptive by nature, we cease to connect with our own true nature, which requires our adaptability in order to survive. And that survival demands we work with one another rather than against each other.

Language plays an important role in creating that environment.

When employees experience communication that dismisses their ideas, minimizes their contributions, or discourages questions, they may become increasingly reluctant to participate. Over time, the organization loses access to the very perspectives and capabilities it needs to grow.

Creating an environment where people can thrive is much like preparing the land for farming. We must first cultivate the soil and then nurture the growth of what we plant to produce a prosperous yield. The same principle applies to leadership, where the conditions we create influence the potential for growth. We see this relationship between conditions and outcomes in agriculture, financial investments, and even chemistry, where the right elements and environment can make all the difference.

That said, when leaders communicate with curiosity, respect, and an interest in developing others, they create opportunities for people to contribute more fully.

This becomes especially important when organizations face disruption. The instinct may be to tighten control, return to familiar processes, and concentrate on protecting what already exists.

Yet disruption can reveal opportunities to examine assumptions, develop new capabilities, and discover approaches that might otherwise remain unexplored.

Regenerative language supports this process by encouraging leaders to move beyond maintaining the status quo and begin exploring what the organization has the potential to become.

The challenge for leaders is to ensure that the words they use reflect the environments they intend to create.

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Founder’s Corner 2:The Adjustment No One Else Sees

Posted on by Byron Darden

One of the things I have always appreciated about figure skating is that the audience sees the performance while the skater experiences something entirely different.

From the stands, a spin may look effortless. The skater knows about the countless micro-adjustments happening within it.

A slight change in the shoulder.

A shift in weight.

A change in pressure against the blade.

An adjustment in the hip or ankle that may be virtually invisible to anyone watching.

Those small corrections keep the skater centered.

Leadership has taught me something remarkably similar.

Hi, I’m Byron Darden, bringing you another edition of Leading with Purpose on Purpose. In this installment, we are focused on self and social-awareness filtered through the lens of sensory detail and how we process this information to strengthen our emotional intelligence. Some of the most consequential leadership adjustments I have witnessed never appear in a strategic plan or performance report. They happen when a leader recognizes that the conversation is moving in the opposite direction and changes course. When someone realizes they have been speaking more than listening. When a leader notices that agreement came far too easily and instead creates space for another perspective.

Leadership presence is not static.

It requires continual awareness of yourself, other people, and the environment around you. All of which are in constant change.

The question is rarely whether conditions will change.

They will.

The question is whether you will sense the change early enough to adjust. Enjoy!

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Continue to explore Sense Leadership in Action

Sense Leadership in Action

Posted on by Byron Darden
A diverse group of business professionals engaged in a collaborative discussion around a conference table in a bright, modern office.

Consider a senior executive presenting a major strategic change.

The presentation goes well. There are few objections. People nod. When the executive asks whether everyone is aligned, the room agrees.

A traditional interpretation might be: We have buy-in.

A Sense Leader notices something else.

The people who normally ask difficult questions are silent.

Instead of treating the absence of disagreement as agreement, the leader pauses.

“We seem to have reached alignment quickly. Before we move forward, I’d like to hear from someone who sees a risk we’re overlooking.”

That single question can surface information that might otherwise emerge weeks later as resistance, delay, or failed execution.

Or consider a leader entering a meeting with a team experiencing performance problems.

The leader arrives determined to create accountability. As the conversation progresses, answers become shorter. People become guarded. The leader senses the room contracting.

Sense Leadership introduces another question:

What role might my presence be playing in what is happening?

Perhaps accountability is still necessary. The adjustment may be in how the conversation is being conducted.

The same principle applies in consulting, education, organizational transformation, executive coaching, and everyday management.

The Sense Leader does not claim to know what everyone is thinking.

The Sense Leader notices enough to keep learning.

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Continue to Understanding Your Impact on the Room

Understanding Your Impact on the Room

Posted on by Byron Darden
Two business professionals seated at a table discussing a document together in a modern office.

The ability to sense what is happening around us begins with an awareness of what is happening within us.

Research from Korn Ferry illustrates just how significant that awareness can be. In its research on emotional intelligence, 62% of leaders with high emotional self-awareness created team climates that ranked in the top quartile. Among leaders with low emotional self-awareness, only 5% created top-quartile team climates.

That is a striking difference, and it reinforces an important element of Sense Leadership.

Leaders are not simply observers of the environments they lead. They are participants in them.

The tension you carry into a meeting can affect the conversation. Your urgency can influence the pace at which others respond. Your openness can make it easier for someone to raise a concern. Your reaction to disagreement can determine whether someone is willing to disagree with you again.

This is where leadership proprioception becomes particularly important. A figure skater needs an awareness of their own position before they can make the subtle adjustments required to remain centered. Leaders need that same awareness of themselves within the human systems they lead.

Sense Leadership therefore begins with more than reading the room. It begins with recognizing that you are part of the room you are trying to read.

The more accurately you can sense your own presence, position, and impact, the more effectively equipped you are to notice what is happening around you and respond with intention.

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Now, What are You Sensing?

What Are You Sensing?

Posted on by Byron Darden
Side-by-side images show a businesswoman looking concerned while reviewing notes and a confident businesswoman smiling with her arms crossed, with the words “Move From Uncertainty to Confidence” between them.

In figure skating, a tiny shift in alignment can determine whether a skater lands a jump, centers a spin, or loses an edge. The correction may be almost invisible to the audience, yet the skater feels it immediately.

Leadership often works the same way.

The most consequential shifts are not always dramatic. Sometimes they begin with a change in the pitch, attitude, or quality of someone’s voice—the elements that shape tone. Other times, the signal is an unexpected silence, a hesitation, a pattern that keeps repeating, or the subtle realization that something in the room has changed. 

Technology can give us more information than ever before.

It cannot replace our responsibility to pay attention.

Sense Leadership is the practice of noticing the signals within ourselves, other people, and our environment without rushing to judgment; testing what we believe we are sensing; and responding with intention.

Because leadership is about knowing where you want to go.

It is also about sensing where you are.

So, what are you sensing in your organization that you have not stopped long enough to examine?

When that question reveals a gap between what your organization is reporting and what your people are experiencing, that gap deserves attention. 

At Triple Axel Executive Coaching, we work with leaders and organizations to strengthen the awareness, presence, and leadership practices that turn those signals into meaningful action. 

Connect with us to explore how Sense Leadership can help you better understand where your organization is today—and lead it more intentionally toward where you want it to go. 

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Founder’s Corner – Sense Leadership: Developing the Awareness to Lead What You Cannot Always See

Posted on by Byron Darden

Long before I began working with executives and organizations, figure skating taught me something about awareness that I did not yet have the language to explain.

As a skater, you learn that you cannot rely entirely on what you can see. When you are rotating in the air, centering a spin, or moving across the ice on an edge only millimeters wide, there is no opportunity to stop, look down, and determine exactly where your body is. You have to know where you are. You have to feel your position, your balance, your momentum, and the relationship between your body and the ice beneath you.

There is a biological name for part of that ability: proprioception. Sometimes called our “sixth sense,” proprioception is our awareness of where our body is and how it is moving through space. Skaters develop this sense through repetition and experience until countless adjustments happen almost instinctively.

Years later, as I moved into leadership development and organizational transformation, I began recognizing a similar capacity in exceptional leaders.

They sense things.

They notice when the energy in a room changes. They hear the hesitation behind someone’s words. They recognize when a team has verbally agreed while something about the interaction suggests the conversation is not finished. At the same time, they remain aware of themselves—how they are showing up, what they are communicating, and how their presence may be affecting everyone else in the room.

That does not mean these leaders possess some extraordinary intuition that is always correct. Quite the opposite. What distinguishes them is their willingness to notice the signals around them without immediately assuming they know what those signals mean.

That distinction has become increasingly important to me.

Hi, I’m Byron Darden, bringing you this edition of Leading with Purpose on Purpose. In this installment, we are focused on sensory detail and the value it brings to you as an effective leader. Much of leadership development focuses on what leaders do: how they communicate, make decisions, execute strategy, manage performance, and produce results. Those skills matter. Yet before a leader can respond effectively, they have to accurately sense what is happening around them and within themselves.

The ice taught me that long before the boardroom did.

You cannot adjust your position until you have some awareness of where you are.

That idea is at the heart of what I call Sense Leadership. Enjoy!

Note:  Organizational theorist Karl Weick first pioneered and developed the concept of proprioception. He formally introduced sensemaking in his 1979 book The Social Psychology of Organizing and deeply expanded it in his seminal 1995 work, Sensemaking in Organizations. 

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Find out how Leadership Begins Before the Response.

Leadership Begins Before the Response 

Posted on by Byron Darden
A woman stands still and observant in a busy environment as blurred figures move quickly around her.

In a given moment, the human body is receiving extraordinary amounts of information.

We see movement. We hear changes in tone. We feel pressure and temperature. Our bodies register balance, movement, tension, and position. Multiple sensory systems operate in parallel, continuously gathering information from the world around us and from within us.

Before we consciously decide what something means, our sensory systems are already at work. In fact, the human sensory system gathers and processes information 100 million times faster than the human brain, according to research conducted by Markus Meister. What does that say about the importance of our bodies in relation to our brains as leaders? I’d say we are long past due taking the body more seriously in developing our leadership abilities.

Leadership operates in an environment filled with signals as well.

A colleague who normally challenges ideas becomes unusually quiet. A team quickly agrees to a decision instead of generating discussion. An executive says everything is “fine,” while their tone communicates something different. The energy in a meeting changes when a particular issue is raised. A leader feels tension rising within themselves as a conversation takes an unexpected direction.

We receive these signals constantly.

The challenge is that receiving information and accurately interpreting it are not the same thing.

Our brains make meaning from what we perceive using experience, context, expectations, memory, and assumptions. Two people can experience the same conversation and walk away with very different interpretations of what occurred.

For leaders, the consequences of that gap can be significant.

Sense Leadership begins with developing greater awareness of what we are receiving before deciding what it means.

It is the capacity to notice signals within ourselves, other people, and our environment; distinguish observation from interpretation; verify what we believe we are sensing; and respond with greater awareness and intention.

Leadership is often measured by the quality of the response.

Sense Leadership asks us to pay attention to what happens before the response.

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Let’s explore What Is Sense Leadership?