Do people see you as someone who inspires trust and curiosity? Does your presence draw others in and make them feel seen and valued? Do you express yourself in a way that connects, uplifts, and motivates others?

Hi, I’m Byron Darden, and these are some of the many questions we are posing in this edition of Leading with Purpose on Purpose. In this installment, we are delving into The Art of Engagement. Dedicated in memory of a dear friend of mine, David Vaughn who showed up as the epitome of engagement in his role as a Broadway theater manager to his commitment at his church and including his dearly loved community of friends and family, all of whom will miss his cheerful presence, kind heart and amazing ability to make those who knew him light up just by being in his presence. He led with such authenticity. And when you lead authentically—living your values and modeling consistency—people notice. They feel it. Enjoy!

Start with Artful Engagement: Blending Mind, Heart, and Action in Leadership.

When it comes to connecting with your team, engagement is key. It’s important to recognize that engagement isn’t one-dimensional; it shows up in several meaningful ways.

The first kind of engagement happens when you’re involved in a project with a client or a client team. Whether formal or informal, you’ve been trusted to deliver a solution that meets a real need. As a managing consultant or project leader, your ability to engage means collaborating with intention—listening carefully, facilitating effectively, and aligning your team around a shared goal.

The second kind of engagement comes from within. It’s the personal commitment you make to your organization, your work, and its success. Engagement at this level means showing up with both emotional and mental investment. You might be committing to a team, a colleague, or a leadership goal. In my coaching practice, I call this your Visionary Interest Position (VIP)—not in the sense of being a “very important person,” since everyone has importance; rather, it reflects being visionary about your role and direction. This type of engagement is rooted in clarity and purpose. It’s about moving forward with intention, guided by what truly matters to you.

The third lens of engagement focuses on how you show up for others. Do people see you as someone who inspires trust and curiosity? Does your presence draw others in and make them feel seen and valued? Do you express yourself in a way that connects, uplifts, and motivates? When you lead authentically—living your values and modeling consistency—people notice. They feel it.

This is where engagement becomes an art form. It’s the blend of awareness, communication, and genuine intention that turns everyday leadership into something memorable and meaningful.

Learn about Finding Your Visionary Interest Position (VIP)

Engagement often comes down to small, intentional shifts — the subtle ways you communicate, listen, and show up for others. These moments might seem simple, yet they carry enormous influence over how people experience your leadership.

The way you hold yourself in a conversation, the effective use of your voice, even the expression in your eyes — all of these shape how others feel in your presence. Great leaders understand that engagement is felt as much as it is seen.

Move Away	Move Toward
Closed off	Open up
Wandering eyes	Eye contact
Monotone voice	Vocal diversity
Speaking	Listening
Rushing	Taking time
Thinking	Feeling

When you’re mindful of these small adjustments, you begin to lead with greater awareness. Folding your arms, for example, might simply mean you’re cold — yet it can come across as defensive or disinterested. Instead, open your posture to invite connection. The same goes for leaning back in your chair during meetings. While it might feel casual, it can signal detachment to those around you.

Eye contact is one of the most powerful ways to show engagement. It communicates that someone matters — that they’re worth your time and attention. My father used to remind me, “Look people in the eye when you speak to them.” It was a simple lesson, yet one that taught me early on that connection begins with acknowledgment.

When working with teams, this is especially important. People need to feel that what they share is valuable. Without that sense of validation, communication breaks down and trust erodes. Over time, team members may withdraw, feeling unseen or unheard.

We’ve all experienced it — talking to the back of someone’s head while they finish an email, wishing they’d simply look up and recognize we’re there. When this happens repeatedly, it damages the connection. That’s why I make it a practice to stop what I’m doing when someone walks into my office. I turn toward them, make eye contact, and listen.

A Note on Cultural Awareness

It’s worth remembering that engagement looks different across cultures. In some parts of the world, particularly in Asia, direct eye contact can be seen as disrespectful. Understanding these differences helps us build bridges rather than barriers.

I once worked with a female leader in inland China who explained that maintaining eye contact with men was considered inappropriate. Her hesitation came from a real and respected cultural value. Yet, as she worked within a multinational company, I encouraged her to consider how these differences might affect communication with global colleagues. Together, we explored ways she could honor her cultural norms while still building confidence and connection in an international setting.

Leading with Awareness

There will be moments when you cannot give someone your full attention — and that’s okay. The key is to acknowledge it. Let the person know you value the conversation and suggest another time to connect. Sometimes they’ll still need you in that moment, and as a leader, your awareness and empathy will guide how you respond.

I’m reminded of a scene from The Good Fight where a managing partner tells a new associate it’s not a good time to talk. When the associate explains she’s under time pressure, the partner adjusts and makes time. Leadership often requires choices that may not be convenient, yet remain essential for the well-being of those we lead. It is equally important in personal relationships.

The Power of Your Voice

Your voice is one of your most powerful tools for engagement. Studies show that roughly 40 percent of a leader’s impact comes from how they sound. In a virtual world, where pitch and quality often replace body language, this matters more than ever.

Vary your pitch, adjust your volume, and use pauses to emphasize your message. A warm tone builds comfort; a calm one conveys confidence. Think of your voice as an instrument that carries information and emotion.

As motivational speaker Mike Lipkin once said:

“Who you are being, when you are saying what you are saying, says more about what you are saying than what you are saying.”

Your voice reflects who you are — your confidence, your care, your authenticity, your personality.

My mother used to tell me, “If you do more tuning in and less broadcasting, you’ll learn more.” It’s advice that has stayed with me. The higher you rise in leadership, the more you realize that listening — truly listening — creates stronger influence than speaking.

While our brains are capable of multitasking, it’s rarely optimal. When we’re talking, we’re not truly listening. Great leaders recognize this and know when to pause, stay present, and create the space for others to fully contribute.

When you slow down and stay present, you give your team permission to do the same. That’s where the art of engagement lives — in the depth of how you connect.