Breathe In

Posted on by Byron Darden

Being present is the ability to be in the here and now without being easily derailed by distractions. When you can think on your feet with ease and confidence in each moment, you can figure out what to say and do to cause a situation to flourish and thrive. You’ve then accomplished two outcomes: One, you’ve become more present and two, you’re more open to creativity and innovation.

Becoming more present can bring peace and calm, a state of being that is grounding and centering. Opening up to creativity and innovation enlivens the soul as we become steeped in purpose. Those are significant qualities to have especially given the hustle and bustle we are experiencing as we all figure out how to function in a world full of lightning speed change.

We are in a time of overflowing change that is so frequent that many of us are challenged with keeping up the pace. Some days can seem far from productive as the list of tasks rises and the number of people available to complete them stays the same or diminishes. When we do feel a since of accomplishment it can feel less satisfying due to the lack of volume and quality or substance. This is because we tend to lack focus and try to do more than is realistic in the time we have, eventually leading us to a state of overwhelm. Here’s a case in point:

As the world continues to open back up after COVID restrictions, one of the managers I spoke with shared what that triggered in them:

  • A sudden shift in the amount and frequency of travel
  • Perceived heightened client expectations that come with face-to-face interactions
  • Movement into overwhelm

Overwhelm distracts us from the here and now and induces an amygdala hijack that diminishes our presence and clouds thinking and judgment.

Developing Presence

Posted on by Byron Darden

Our PRESENCE guides us through life based on how well we develop ourselves. Whether we are leading teams in business, leading our communities through change, or simply leading by being an influence on the lives of others, how we play these roles determines our effectiveness.

Present

Responsive

Emotive

Self-Concept

Endogenous

Nimble

Caring

Engaged

Present

The present moment is where all things are possible. It is the only controllable moment and where the future is designed. When you look at the difference between two people, being present is the quality that distinguishes one person and makes them stand out from the crowd. The present is fleeting and ever-changing and is the key to human potential.

Responsive

So how does one stay in the present and take advantage of its power? In meditation, we observe what comes and goes. For the rest of our life, we must act. The primary way this is done is through reaction and response. Whereas reaction is impulsive, and response is thoughtful. As we proceed through our day, we oscillate between different states of mind – some are authentic, and some are inauthentic. They guide the way we connect and engage with one another and move us in emotional ways that are both unique and learned.

Emotive

We use emotive ways when we take on different roles depending on our situation. For example, when we put on a suit (our costume) and head into a professional environment, we assume a role. We may take on a different tone of voice, carry ourselves in a certain way, and present goals we’ve set for ourselves; we are serving a purpose. One person can assume many roles such as a boss, direct report, spouse, parent, sibling, VP, etc.

Self-Concept

Knowing oneself can lead to greater happiness, self-satisfaction, less inner conflict, and the ability to be sure in our interactions with others. Self-concept is largely a reflection of the reactions of others towards the individual. It is how we perceive our unique characteristics. Adjusting our self-concept opens up new possibilities, yet, it can be difficult.

Empowering

Empowerment enables us or others to act on their own authority. We can empower ourselves by controlling our lives and claiming our rights. We can empower others by giving them the authority or power to do something. A great manager empowers their employees by giving them leverage in solving problems. Often called “thinking outside the box,” employees or managers with a sense of empowerment create breakthroughs.

Nimble

To be nimble is defined as being quick and light in movement or action. This applies to our physical reactions and also our adaptations to changing circumstances. Nimbleness in the workplace means adapting to changing circumstances or creating a new strategy where the current thinking is not succeeding.

Caring

Caring is displaying kindness and concern for others. Caring is the work or practice of looking after those unable to care for themselves, especially sick and older adults. When we care for others, we open up empathy in our hearts. Those that care about the task they are asked to accomplish achieve desirable results and inevitably feel a heightened sensibility about themselves. This leads to pride in work and a more content workforce.

Engaged

We need to be engaged to stay in the present moment. Items capture our interest, some fade to the background, and some keep us focused. A measure of success is in how we engage with others. In the workplace, this is illustrated by how well we listen and provide feedback.

Within our PRESENCE is the core of who we are which I’ve focused upon in the SELF Concept Model.

These four characteristics are an inroad to a deeper sense of self and revealing in how we are felt and seen by others. The exploration can lengthen the amount of time that we are being present and shorten the gaps representing when we are less present.

Sufficient

Endogenous

Living

Fascinate

  • Sufficient

We are enough – perfect as we are this very minute.

  • Endogenous

We are continually growing and developing, and this growth happens from within.

  • Living

We are active or thriving human beings that are capable of great things.

  • Fascinate

We have a unique personal power, charm, nature, or another quality that makes us a curiosity to others and curious people ourselves.

Breathe Out

Posted on by Byron Darden

This brings about the subject of being present, which is knowing, understanding, managing, and caring for the self. Learning about self is a life’s journey full of discoveries. Some are difficult to understand, and others we sometimes choose not to understand or explore. SELF is the most essential being in the equation without whom there is no other. Without a sense of self, we tend to fall under the influence of others. Self needs loving kindness to flourish and to be all that is possible.

We must open ourselves to non-judgment. We must become curious and build confidence to take risks. We must be committed to our goals because, “If you want to reach your goals, you must shrink the size of your but” and choose to live in a “Yes, And…” world. How do you do that? Most simply put, live the question.

Your Story Leads to Authenticity

Posted on by Byron Darden

Those of you who have been following me for a while have read my Founder’s Corners and understand my story. Now, it’s time for you to tell your story.

To be present with your true authentic self, you must spend time discovering who you are and for what you stand. What makes you wholly sufficient as you are? Understanding our biology, pathology, and biochemical baseline, we create a picture we share with the world. We impact others whether we live in a box or the public eye. Living to fascinate those around us with our natural brilliance is how we show up at the table. Adopting a curiosity about ourselves and one another develops us as human beings and allows us to explore our true potential.

Distinguishing Yourself from Others

Posted on by Byron Darden

Here are some startling figures:

According to a recent Gallup report, only 36% of employees show engagement in the workplace. Surprisingly, this is not due to the pandemic (which did an excellent job of shaking up the status quo). In fact, since 2017, the number of employees who were disengaged dropped.

The same Gallup study indicates the benefits of an engaged workforce will increase profits by up to 21% and that employee disengagement costs the US Economy up to $500 billion per year. It serves companies to focus on engagement and work to increase the number of satisfied employees.

Earlier, we mentioned that being in the present will set you apart from your co-workers. Are you beginning to understand that it’s a numbers game – become one of those 36% engaged employees, and you are definitely going to be noticed.

Employee engagement can be boosted in several ways:

  • Cut down on virtual meetings. Instead of daily check-ins, trust your employees to deliver and cut that meeting time down to once a week.
  • Share company news and information that affects your employees regularly. Involve them in the company’s mission. This brings people together as a team, whether in the office or remote situations. 
  • Tracking software might encourage employees to focus on their tasks when they know they are being monitored. Be careful with this one that it doesn’t infringe on autonomy.
  • Working on your corporate culture also boosts employee satisfaction, creating a cohesive team working toward the same goals.
  • Many employees leave due to a lack of recognition and growth opportunities. Create career paths with professional development and praise achievements.

Creating a positive work environment will pay off in profits and happy employees. Encouraging employees to develop soft skills such as being present is key to that goal.

Should your employer not take action, it’s crucial to your well-being and growth as a person in and out of the workplace to develop your ability to be present in your life.

How to Be Present

Posted on by Byron Darden

“Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

As you master the art of being present, you open up a whole new level of confidence and opportunities to thrive in the workplace, including:

  • Bring your focus to the present and on one task. Eliminate distractions and see how much you can get done.
  • Focus leads to breakthroughs in problem-solving. Clearing distracting thoughts frees up your mind to foster solutions.
  • Interactions with your co-workers or clients are more engaging. By focusing your attention on the other person or situation, they are heard and feel that you care about their project.

I’m Present for You

Posted on by Byron Darden

Are you struggling with roadblocks to becoming more present? I hear you, and I’m here for you. I’ve helped countless women in the trenches and the boardroom to break through their limitations and become more present in their roles. Whether developing listening skills, improving organizational tactics, navigating tough relationships, or cultivating focus, we can discuss these and uncover your true potential. Click here and scroll just below the banner of my home page to take the leadership styles quiz. At the end, you’ll be prompted to schedule an appointment to talk about your individual needs.

LEADERSHIP STYLES

FOUNDER’S CORNER

Posted on by Byron Darden

I LOVE FOOD! I also love to cook. There was a time when the topic of food centered more on survival and less on an epicurean delight. Foodie is the term often associated with me by friends and family. In fact, I was so well versed in food that I recall a time when I lived in Boston that I frequently was asked, “where is a good place to eat?”

Then the conversation turned to my inquiry of cuisine, atmosphere and budget. In just a few minutes I could recommend several options that would satisfy just about any craving callers had. I seemed to hit a home run each time. It was also a time when I spent hours in the kitchen preparing favorite dishes from ingredients I sourced all over town. I could easily travel to half a dozen different stores to acquire just what I needed to return to my kitchen and delight in the meal that was to come.

I also had a friend who had studied to become a social sommelier. I learned a great deal about wine during those years and discovered just how much I appreciated red wines. Food and wine had become a significant topic in my life and I was always excited to learn more about the foods I ate and the wines I drank. It was such an important development in my life that I eventually designed a kitchen where I could entertain my friends and family while I emersed myself in one of the most interesting hobbies I’ve ever had. Food preparation. I even spent years in the restaurant business where I could learn even more about my favorite topic.

In time my passion for food became even more important when I began training athletes. I learned how important it was to eat well and pay attention to the ingredients I used to make those delicious meals. One cuisine in particular that held my attention was Italian food. I eventually explored a host of different types of food and soon I became somewhat of an expert in the kitchen. Over time that changed.

Like so many of us in today’s hectic world, I learned to economize when shopping, cooking and eating. I also learned that where you live weighs heavily on what you can access and how often you have the ability to find what you are looking for in preparing a meal. It all takes time, money and commitment. Those are three things not all of us have in plenty. So changes must be made. One thing that does not change is that our bodies require attention when choosing what we eat. There are so many considerations to take into account that it can be easy to cut corners until what you are left with is fast food, cheap ingredients and eating on the run.

The fact is that when we stop paying attention to what we eat, the lack of attention shows in how we lead, how we look and feel, increased time spent addressing nutrition deficit from a medical standpoint, and how we treat one another. Leader remember, people don’t leave jobs. They leave the people who lead them into work despair. So in this month’s blog we are going to explore some of those consideration I mentioned above. Perhaps after you read my August blog, you will give the importance of food a higher priority.

Diversity and the Importance of Proper Nutrition

Posted on by Byron Darden

To thrive, we must feed our body what it needs. This includes physical, emotional, spiritual, and nutritional needs. Growing up, we are told to eat fruits, vegetables, proteins, and a little fat. Cut down on sweets and processed foods. While these are great guidelines, they don’t tell the whole story. What about the people who are unable to tolerate wheat? What about those with allergies? What do you do should your body react negatively to high levels of potassium? What course of action can you take for acid reflux?

While we are given the food pyramid and MyPlate, it’s essential to understand that you are unique, and what works for one person may not work for you. There are steps you can take in order to feel your best. And that will help you thrive for the rest of your life.

More than Just a Meal

Posted on by Byron Darden

Eating is much more than putting the right foods in your mouth. It is a way of thinking. Food has the power to heal or make you very sick. It also has the power to bring people together. Think of big family get-togethers with grandma’s cooking. There are traditional recipes and the company of kin. Think of neighborhoods in the city. When you want authentic tacos, you might head to a Hispanic neighborhood. Asian stores carry foods that remind you of a visit to China. It does require effort to source the food you like and sometimes that is not so easy. For example, you may not find collard greens just anywhere.

There is a challenge for some in food scarcity and economic availability. Food scarcity or food deserts is when no nutritious food is available in your area. The price of healthy foods precludes some from partaking in those choices. Boxes of ramen or macaroni and cheese hold little nutritional value, yet they are cheap and seem to go around the table. Fresh fruits and vegetables are scarce in some communities. Even when there are plenty of nutrient-dense foods, preparing can be challenging.