Resilience, Success, and Tips for Growth

Once when I was in the chocolate manufacturing business, a reporter wrote a story about me in Black Enterprise Magazine. He also wrote another article about me in USA Today. Two things that struck me regarding his view of me were one, everyone he writes about is a success, and two, anyone who has gone through what I have gone through should have been out of business long ago. Yet I prospered. Learning that I’m thought of as a relentless optimist fits who I am and the influence I possess in getting people where they want or need to be in their careers. I’d like to think of myself as a relentless optimist with integrity and humility.

Here are my Tips to Grow By:

  • Identify Your Audience: Understanding your audience is the foundation of effective communication. Take the time to research and identify who you are speaking to. Learn their needs, preferences, and pain points. Tailoring your message to resonate with your audience will ensure that it is received with the impact and relevance you intend.
  • Set Clear Goals and Precise: Clarity in your objectives is crucial for success. Clearly define what you want to accomplish, and be as precise as possible in articulating these goals. Whether you’re aiming to inform, persuade, or inspire, having well-defined goals will guide your actions and keep you focused on the outcomes you desire.
  • Manage Expectations and Adjust as Necessary: Setting realistic expectations helps prevent misunderstandings and builds trust. However, it’s also important to remain flexible and open to adjustments as situations evolve. Being adaptable allows you to navigate challenges and make necessary changes to stay aligned with your objectives and the needs of your audience.
  • Communicate Early and Often: Proactive communication is key to preventing issues and ensuring everyone is on the same page. By communicating early and often, you foster transparency and collaboration, making it easier to address concerns and keep projects moving forward smoothly. Consistent communication helps build stronger relationships, and greater trust and ensures that everyone involved feels informed and engaged.
  • Master Concision and Clarity: In today’s fast-paced environment, clear and concise communication is more valuable than ever. Avoid unnecessary jargon or lengthy explanations, and focus on delivering your message in a straightforward and understandable way. Clarity ensures that your audience grasps your key points quickly, minimizing confusion and maximizing the impact of your message.

Wrap up the Back to School theme with Foster Growth Through Continuous Learning and Learn to Embrace Opportunities.

Foster Growth Through Continuous Learning

Continuous learning is essential in today’s rapidly evolving work environment, where the demand for new skills is ever-present. In fact, according to a study by eduMe (an education training company), 87% of employees acknowledge that acquiring new skills is necessary throughout their careers to remain competitive and effective in their roles. When you consider that statistic, also consider my sharing about what is happening in primary and secondary school education. Just the idea of the 87% acknowledgment of employees understanding their need to acquire new skills, imagine what it took to get them to that point and line of thinking. 

Should we fail at paying attention to the early years of education of our youth, imagine what the COVID Kid generation is up against when it becomes time for them to take over the reigns! This statistic underscores the importance of a lifelong commitment to learning, as staying current with industry trends, technologies, and best practices not only enhances personal growth, it also ensures sustained professional success. Embracing continuous learning allows you to adapt to changes, seize new opportunities, and maintain your relevance in an increasingly dynamic job market.

While it would be ideal for employers to consistently offer learning and development opportunities, the reality is that the majority of personal skills development falls on the individual. Waiting for external opportunities can lead to stagnation, making it crucial for professionals to take ownership of their growth. Investing in your own education—whether through online courses, workshops, certifications, or self-directed study—empowers you to stay ahead of industry changes and position yourself for career advancement. By proactively seeking out learning opportunities, you ensure that your skill set remains relevant and robust, ultimately making you more valuable in any professional setting. Taking charge of your own development is not just a necessity; it’s a powerful way to shape your career trajectory and achieve long-term success.

As a leader, it’s essential to recognize the critical role you play in providing learning opportunities for your team. While individual initiative in personal development is important, creating an environment that encourages and supports continuous learning is equally crucial. By offering access to training programs, workshops, mentorship, and other educational resources, you empower your team members to grow their skills and stay ahead of industry trends. This not only enhances their professional capabilities but also fosters a culture of innovation and adaptability within your organization. Just be sure you are not simply going through the motions of educating so that you can check the box for offering training that falls short of getting the job done!

Moreover, as a leader, you set the tone for the importance of continuous learning by modeling it yourself. When your team sees you actively engaging in your own development, it reinforces the value of lifelong learning and motivates them to follow suit. Providing learning opportunities and encouraging skill development helps build a more resilient and dynamic team, positioning both your employees and your organization for sustained success in an ever-changing landscape. By investing in your team’s growth, you’re not just enhancing their individual potential—you’re also driving the collective progress and long-term competitiveness of your organization.

“Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” — John F. Kennedy

Continuous learning plays a vital role in both personal and professional success. The back-to-school season is more than just a reminder of the academic year—it’s a metaphor for the perpetual growth that defines our careers and leadership journeys. As we enter this season of renewal and focus, it’s crucial to remember that our commitment to learning doesn’t end when we leave the classroom. For leaders, executives, and educators, every day is the first day of school. As long as that continues to be you, everyone will flourish including you.

Now is the time to embrace the opportunities that come with a fresh start. Whether you’re aiming to advance in your career, take on new challenges, or foster growth within your team, commit to being a lifelong learner. Start by identifying one area where you or your team can grow, and take action today. Seek out new knowledge, invest in skill development, and model the continuous learning mindset that will drive your success. Remember, the journey of learning never truly ends. It is an ongoing process that fuels our ability to lead, innovate, and inspire those around us. It’s the key to thriving in an ever-changing world. Lead the way by making learning a priority, and watch as you and your team flourish together.

Ready to take your leadership to the next level? Reach out today and ask about the CORE Leadership Toolkit—your essential resource for continuous growth and development. Start building the skills that will empower you and your team to succeed in any challenge. 

Founders Corner – Life Planning Part II

August is Vacation month for many hard-working executives. It’s a time when many take their traditional annual vacation to rest, relax and maybe catch up on your reading list. We often spend more time with family and friends. See new vistas and visit places you’ve always wanted to go. Here at Triple Axle Executive Coaching, it’s planning month for our next 12 blogs we plan to publish. 

As we move into this month [August], I’m excited about the many celebrations coming up. All for different reasons. Some of which you’ll probably identify right away from having read our blog since 2021.

For instance, we are celebrating American Artists Appreciation Month. Coming from a performance artist background myself, and having dabbled in photography, drawing and design (furniture and interiors), I’m humbled by learning there is a month when we acknowledge the many creative artists in our midst.

There’s also Black Business Month, which is a reminder to me of having started seven different businesses in my career and now mounting the eighth as an executive coaching company. 

National Golf Month has a distant connection in my life when one of my relatives encouraged me to pick up the game when I lived in Boston. She said, “more decisions are made on a golf course than in any boardroom. Learn to play the game and see what happens.” While I did get myself a set of clubs and visited the Nashoba Valley driving range on a weekly basis, I didn’t quite take to the game of golf that nearly all my aunts and uncles have and continue to play in their 90s.

There are also special days of celebration that include National Womens and Women’s Equality Day, respectively on August 9th and 26th. My three decades of coaching women in figure skating have morphed into the two decades of helping women overcome imposter syndrome, release trauma to their confidence and inspire me to devote so much of my attention to women’s issues and build strong relationships with the women in my life.

World Humanitarian Day is celebrated on August 19th which sets the stage of Be Kind to Humankind Week celebrated August 25th till the end of the month. More than anything, my passion is to help executives seek their humanity in leading others. So I’m especially humbled by the notion that we observe humanitarians as appreciative contributors to society.

Then there’s one of my favorite acknowledgments that kicks off the month on the 1st, National Simplify Your Life Week; something I recently began doing before I knew there was a formal celebration designated to do so. Truth be known, with all the hoarders I’ve encountered in my experience, I try to simplify my life several times throughout the year.

Given so many reasons to celebrate, we’ve decided to coin it, Equality Acknowledgment and Endorsement Month.

Hi, I’m Byron Darden with another edition of Leading with Purpose on Purpose. As we conclude  our series on Transitions, we are building on what we began last month by introducing the transition of Life Planning. While recharging your battery, we invite you to give your future Life some thought.

To support you, we’re offering you some helpful ideas and tips on how to think about your future through Life Planning.

You may recall that I started my Life Planning in 2008 just before the Savings and Loan meltdown rocked our economic comfort zone. At the time, I had no awareness that my financial life would go into a tale spin. That event signaled my move to New York and the beginning of living my Life Plan in ways I couldn’t have imagined, with all the unexpected twists and turns that uncertainty brings to the impermanence of everything, everywhere, for everybody

You’ll learn about The Three questions that will get you thinking in ways you may never have considered before. We delve into the Heart’s Core; the center of what’s most important to you.

Come the fall it is my guess, somewhat from years of experience, that returning energized and invigorated from vacations, time away, sabbaticals, and in my case, my annual writing retreat, you will be set up for success. The season will change with the return to school mindset or continuing education, and you’ll have a refreshed perspective on what is most important to you. 

Once you get back to your roles as leaders, let’s plan to connect and explore how you can create the life you love. Enjoy!

Life Planning requires that you take Time to Think. Read on for more suggestions.

Time to Think

Creating a life plan is a crucial step in setting yourself up for both personal and professional success. It allows you to outline your aspirations, set clear goals, and develop a strategic approach to achieving them. Below is a list of activities to help you start thinking about your life-planning journey

Journal to Generate Ideas

Journaling is a powerful tool to brainstorm and organize your thoughts. It is a chance to explore what you truly want to achieve in life. Write down your aspirations, reflect on your current situation, and explore potential paths to your goals. You might be surprised by the breakthroughs that come to light with a regular journaling practice.

Setting Goals

During the Life Planning process, you will discuss your goals for the future, personally and professionally. I urge you to make them specific. For example, instead of saying you want to be CEO someday, set a goal of becoming CEO within 2 years and the steps you will take to get there. Instead of stating that your goal is to be healthy, set a goal to lose 20 pounds in 6 months by walking 30 minutes a day and eating fruit instead of cake for dessert. 

For some, specificity can feel like putting guardrails on your vision. From experience, a lack of specificity has not held me back from reaching my goals, just not how I envisioned it at the start. An RLP can help focus your goals.

Create a Vision Board

One tool that is used to bring goals and ideas to life is a vision board. It can serve as a daily reminder of your dreams, keeping you motivated and focused. Start by collecting images, quotes, and symbols that represent your desired future. Work with your RLP to construct the vision board.

Do Some Research

Looking back at your journal and your goals, think about what is standing in the way of your dreams. Is it a lack of education or a skill you’d like to develop?  Do a little research to see how you might close the gap.

Consider Your Life Experience

Chances are that you have more skills than you realize. Make a list of your past achievements, rewards, training, and more. That workshop you took last year may give you unique qualifications to achieve your goals. In addition to your achievements, consider your perceived obstacles. An RLP can help you turn setbacks into breakthroughs.

Build a Support System

In addition, be thinking about the people in your life that you could turn to for support, including friends, relatives, mentors, and experienced professionals. Building relationships 6yhb provides valuable insights, guidance, and support, enhancing your life planning process.  As an RLP client, you join a network of professionals who can support you in acquiring the knowledge, making contacts, planning and executing the steps necessary to bring your life-planning dreams to fruition. Ask me about our transition program, Chrysalis Conversion.

Continue to see Life Planning in Action.

Life Planning in Action

You may ask how I have come to learn so much about life planning myself and I can tell you that I have been living my formal life plan since I created my first one back in 2008. The S&L crisis had hit. I owned two homes in Washington state. I lost all my income while traveling globally providing leadership training and coaching to corporate executives as a contractor for a company. I was frustrated and scared. I had no idea what to do. 

One day during a conversation with my mentor Kathy, she suggested trying an exercise called The Three Questions. At first, they seemed rather simple. First came the task of imagining I had all the money I needed to do anything I wanted. It is a chance to dream big, pull out all the stops, and draw on my skills as an actor on stage believing I could be anything I wanted, do whatever I pleased, and have whatever came to mind. It was a fun and exhilarating experience. I did not hold back and abandoned resistance. 

Then I had to consider what I would do should I discover that I only had a short time left to live. What will I do with the time I have remaining? It was a sobering thought. At first, I tried to fit everything into the time I had left. It was during this activity that my values and burning desires took shape and reminded me of just how committed I was to going after things that held my attention and how I would let go of what I did not feel as strongly about. 

Then came the kicker question: What would I do if this were my last day? What would I miss? Who did I not get to be? What did I have to let go of doing? These are not questions we think about because the idea of death is one we rarely allow ourselves to dwell upon. That is unless you had a belief system that supported that type of thinking. It was a sobering activity and a powerful one to help me set priorities in a way I hadn’t considered.

Next, we looked at another activity called the Heart’s Core. It is one of the activities I used today to help clients get in touch with what is core to them about what they dream about, some of which they cannot imagine could come true. That was me then!

As we went through the activity I discovered a different way of thinking about my dreams as they pertained to the three questions. There was an order to identify, people I determined would possibly be involved, and where my dream could take me. It was a system of thinking in a certain way that made my dreams actually look possible rather than not possible at all. Something about being in the form of a grid helped me organize my thoughts and see how I could use the concept of patterns to see how one thing was linked to another.

Since 2008, I’ve updated my life plan twice. Once when I began my training to learn about Life Planning. A second time when I started my mentorship program to solidify the process of supporting others. Now I revisit my life plan once at the start of each year. Guess what? With few alterations, I’ve been living my life plan to the point of honing it rather than totally retooling it. Each year it gets clearer and very real. 

In fact, Triple Axel Executive Coaching exists because of my first stab at life planning sixteen years ago. My company is slowly expanding to include my passions in a conglomerate that is taking shape. I now live in New York where I dreamed of moving some day. I live in a wonderful place that I once thought would only be a pipe dream. I have a financial planner that I did not have before I started. I also became a public speaker, and a published author and have taught all over the world. I even learned more about a business that resulted in me earning my MBA.

Join us as we wrap up this series with Proven Results and why I say Don’t Go It Alone.

Proven Results

Understanding how many people engage in life planning can provide valuable context for its importance. 

Let’s use setting a New Year’s resolution as an example. On January 1st, you might set a “goal” of losing weight.  For the first week or two, you skip desserts and head to the gym (you might even buy a membership).  Here’s the problem – your goal is weak – how much weight do you want to lose? How are you going to do it?  Do you have a support system? As a result of not taking time to explore these questions, you revert back to your old habits rather quickly.  

Now, let’s suppose your goal involved writing a contract with yourself, finding a friend on the same path, and tracking your progress with an online program. Your chances of success are much greater.  

A study by Dominican University found that individuals who wrote down their goals shared them with others, and sent regular progress reports were 33% more likely to achieve their goals than those who merely formulated goals in their minds. I tried the mind method many times. The trouble with that choice is the invariable “traffic jam” – as my big sister Billie calls it – that exists in our heads. You have to get out of that traffic jam to see a clear path to take.

According to the research, individuals who took the proactive step of writing down their goals, as opposed to keeping them as abstract ideas, were significantly more likely to achieve them. This group documented their objectives and shared these goals with others, thereby creating a sense of accountability. 

Additionally, by sending regular progress reports, individuals maintained a continuous focus on their goals, which further contributed to their success. This emphasizes the power of concrete actions and social support in the goal-achievement process, suggesting that structured and shared goal-setting can dramatically enhance personal and professional success.

The same concepts can be applied to life planning; it’s just a bit bigger goal.

Don’t Go It Alone

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” — Benjamin Franklin

This quote by Benjamin Franklin underscores the critical importance of planning in achieving success. It highlights that without a clear and structured plan, the likelihood of failure increases significantly. Franklin’s wisdom aligns with the findings of modern studies, emphasizing that deliberate and thoughtful life planning is essential for realizing one’s goals and aspirations.

Taking the first step towards creating a comprehensive life plan can be both exciting and overwhelming. To make this process smoother, consider reaching out to me, a seasoned coach and Registered Life Planner, for guidance and support. 

We can create a detailed and actionable life plan tailored to your unique needs and aspirations. My expertise and my team will provide you with the tools and support necessary to navigate your journey successfully. Avoid the wait— schedule a call today to start crafting the life you envision.

Founder’s Corner – Life Planning

Someone once said to me, “How can I plan my life when life is ever-changing and unpredictable?” I found it a thoughtful question and a reasonable one to ask. While I believe it to be true that we cannot predict what will happen tomorrow or in the next minute for that matter, planning for the future has always been a worthy consideration –  as long as we do not become attached to our plans. Yet, having a plan in place is how many choose which schools to attend for a degree, what cities to live in that offer opportunities, and the qualities to look for in a mate versus remaining single. 

Some plans we look forward to and are eager to engage in.

I’ve witnessed couples planning their wedding. What colors to consider? Which caterer to hire? Who will be invited to that special day? Those same couples may plan for a family. How many children do they dream of having? What neighborhoods do they wish to live in? Which schools to send their children to? Those types of plans may lead to the type of job you want, the roles that are most important to you to take in your profession, and how much money you want or need to earn. 

Other plans are necessary and not so much fun to contemplate.

Recently I heard from a former client who shared that she is embarrassed to admit that, as she nears retirement, she has not planned out investments so that she has the money to retire comfortably. She admitted that planning for this next phase of her life is not something she looks forward to doing. So she simply avoids the topic altogether. This is a pervasive reality for many of us who don’t want to think about retirement. Yet, avoiding the topic doesn’t make its reality go away.

Life is full of plans. Some go as hoped while others, well, require rethinking. And just because you make plans, how you intend to carry out your plans may not always seem so clear. 

As a part of human nature or how we’ve been conditioned to act, we often find ourselves planning for the future – however unsure the future may be.

What I’ve discovered is that when it comes to the type of plans we make later in life, it can be the difference between planning the life you envision for yourself and living the life that someone else envisions for you, leaving your wishes out of the equation entirely. 

Hi, I’m Byron Darden with another edition of Leading with Purpose on Purpose. In this latest installment in the series on Transitions we began publishing in December 2023, we explore the value of Life Planning. The connection to our theme this month draws on the fact that more than a dozen countries celebrate Independence Day. So in keeping with the significance of gaining independence we thought it fitting to acknowledge the importance of doing so by planning ahead for the abundant life that is your birthright.

I’ve been supporting executive leaders for over 20 years in planning their climb up the corporate ladder and how to strategically navigate the process. Now I’ve drawn on that wealth of experience to support you in planning the life you most desire, rather than just hoping for the best that life has to offer. Because too many of us fail to plan for what is most important to us. Focusing on your passions, your dreams, and your greatest desires, I’ve learned first-hand the value of Life Planning. 

It began for me in 2008 when a dear friend and colleague offered me an opportunity to plan for what is next in my life. It was a profound experience unlike any I had before. While I had planned out my life as a skater as well as my rise as a stage actor, and my ultimate move to New York, these were all centered around my career. What I hadn’t considered was planning for the aspects of my life that were most important to me. Getting clear on how my life beyond my career might look. 

I was stunned to discover how many plans I made over the years without much thought to how retirement might fit in, as well as what and how I would like to give back. Particularly considering the countless opportunities that came my way and not by my own efforts. In fact, taking advantage of Life Planning is how I found my way to New York and what prompted me to begin Triple Axel Executive Coaching. 

Just to give you a taste of what Life Planning can do for you, I not only planned how my company would form and unfold, I even planned the last two-year pivot through which I’ve been transitioning in real time since we began publishing this series. 

You may have noticed that over the past eight months, our website has gone through a transformation. Our colors have changed from orange to several hues of blue. Our logo is different. Our services are more dynamic. And while we continue to specialize in serving women in leadership, we are also now inclusive of all executives and the various types of organizations in which they lead. We’re primed to help organizations become more inclusive, support them in facing change, and provide coaching to executives to sharpen their skills. In order to navigate promotions more effectively, we help leaders develop their personal brand, and guide our clients to build on what they do in business by also helping them identify what comes next in their lives.

As you read this month’s blog on Life Planning Part One, think about how you can benefit from allowing us to help you make way for your life’s passions. Enjoy!

Continue to this month’s blog on Life Planning!

One with You: Life Planning

It’s easy to get swept away by the cycles of daily life. We find ourselves caught in a cycle of routines, obligations, and unforeseen events, rarely taking the time to pause and reflect on where we’re headed. Last month, we discussed the importance of mindfulness and staying in the present moment with our tasks. This is extremely important. So is looking ahead. This is where life planning comes into play—a process that empowers you to take control of your future, align your actions with your goals, and ultimately lead a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

Life planning is not just about setting goals; it’s about envisioning the life you truly desire and mapping out the steps to get there. It involves a holistic approach, considering every aspect of your existence, from career and finances to health and relationships. By dedicating time to planning your life, you create a blueprint that guides your decisions, helps you navigate challenges, and keeps you focused on what truly matters.

In this blog, we will explore the nuances of life planning, exploring how it can enhance your sense of direction, improve your mental and emotional well-being, and provide a clearer vision for your future. Whether you’re at a crossroads, seeking greater balance, or striving for personal growth, life planning offers invaluable benefits that can transform your journey. Life planning can help you craft the life you’ve always envisioned or create a vision for the life you want to have.

Your Personal Road Map

Life Planning is your very own guide that draws from your personally developed itinerary focused on your most desired places to go, sights to take in, experiences to savor, identifying the causes you want to champion, and being with the people dear to you, on your most significant journey imaginable. 

Your guide is tailored for and by you, matching what’s core to why you are who you are; taking into account what you yearn for most. You’ll discover what obstacles might get in your way. Determine who can help you overcome them. You’ll even have the freedom to exercise your option to choose the timing to take action on possible adjustments to keep your journey on course.

When you find that certain aspects of your itinerary no longer align with your initial planning, you can let them go. This includes adding new choices to your itinerary, including changing where you wish to travel, expanding or scaling back your list of people to be with, and shifting experiences based on your change of heart.

Essentially, Life Planning is a roadmap that identifies what is most important to you that is born of your dreams and aspirations. It’s a way of taking wishes and fantasies and turning them into a plausible approach to making them a reality. 

What Life Planning is not, is a plan for the end of life. By contrast, it is as the title suggests. It is a way of looking at your life in terms of what can be possible when we allow ourselves to dream and then look at ways of turning dreams into reality. It is also not a plan full of guardrails. Instead, guidelines for how to move forward. It also is not a constriction that can not be altered. 

As the saying goes, “Life happens when you’re making plans.” The suggestion is that life does not go according to plan. While this is often true, the lack of a plan provides you with no starting point nor ultimate attainment of something important to you because you chose not to put whatever it is in motion. Life planning allows you to consider what you really value most and then map out steps to move you in that direction. While you might find something else along the way, the life plan guides you to possible roads to travel. Something that I often heard as an athlete is a quote credited to Norman Vincent Peale, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

Next comes Creating a Purpose and Direction

Creating Purpose and Direction

The significance of life planning is twofold. First, consider the analogy of taking a trip. You wouldn’t embark on a journey without some level of preparation and planning. Without a plan, you might find yourself overspending, ending up in places you didn’t intend to visit, and missing out on key experiences you would have cherished. Just as a well-thought-out travel itinerary helps you maximize your trip, life planning ensures that your resources—time, money, and energy—are directed toward your most valued goals.

When you have a plan for your trip, it’s easier to manage unexpected events with contingency plans. Similarly, life planning equips you to handle unforeseen circumstances with greater resilience and adaptability. By anticipating potential challenges and having strategies in place, you can navigate life’s uncertainties more effectively. This proactive approach reduces stress and helps you maintain a steady course, even when faced with obstacles.

Second, life planning fosters a deeper sense of purpose and direction. It encourages introspection and self-awareness, prompting you to identify your core values and long-term aspirations. This clarity of purpose acts as a compass, guiding your daily decisions and helping you prioritize what truly matters. Without a plan, it’s easy to become reactive, constantly responding to immediate demands without considering their alignment with your broader vision. Life planning keeps you focused on your ultimate objectives, ensuring that your actions are intentional and aligned with your desired outcomes.

In essence, life planning is about taking charge of your destiny. It’s a proactive approach to living that empowers you to design a life that reflects your true self and aspirations. By planning your life with intention and foresight, you set the stage for a more organized, balanced, and fulfilling existence. In the following sections of this blog, we’ll explore practical steps and strategies to help you create your life plan, ensuring that you are well-equipped to achieve your dreams and navigate your journey with confidence and purpose.

It begins when you Shift Your Mindset.

Shift Your Mindset

The choices we make and the mindset we adopt play a crucial role in shaping our experiences and outcomes. Often, we find ourselves stuck in patterns that limit our potential and stifle our growth. To truly thrive, it’s essential to recognize these limiting behaviors and actively work towards more empowering alternatives.

The table below outlines a transformative path from limiting beliefs and actions toward more empowering and fulfilling approaches. Each transition represents a shift from a constrained, reactive state to one of intentionality, freedom, and self-empowerment. By embracing these shifts, you can unlock your true potential and craft a life that is successful and also deeply satisfying.

Move Away FromMove Toward
Limiting beliefsLimitless ones (at least at first)
Listening to adviceBeing heard for your dreams and desires
HesitationFreedom of flow knowing you have someone in your corner as a cheerleader rather than a naysayer
Stifling emotionsBeing in touch with your emotions
Letting life happenPlanning life’s happenings

Each transition signifies a profound change in perspective and behavior:

  • From Limiting Beliefs to Limitless Ones: Start by challenging the constraints you’ve placed on yourself. Open your mind to new possibilities and believe in your potential to achieve great things. This became very real for me when I was advised to earn a championship before turning to professional skating. 

Competition was not for me at the time. Learning how to skate well enough to be hired by Ice Capades and work my way up was my greatest desire. I was told it wouldn’t happen. A year after joining Ice Capades I became the understudy for the lead male in the show. In fact, he was my coach. Eventually, he left the show and I took his spot…without a championship under my belt.

  • From Listening to Advice to Being Heard for Your Dreams and Desires: Move beyond simply taking advice from others. Find your voice, articulate your own dreams, and ensure that your goals are acknowledged and supported.
  • From Hesitation to Freedom of Flow: Overcome hesitation by building confidence and embracing the support of those who believe in you. Experience the freedom that comes with knowing you have a cheerleader in your corner.
  • From Stifling Emotions to Being in Touch with Them: Instead of suppressing your emotions, learn to understand and express them. This emotional intelligence will enhance your well-being and relationships.
  • From Letting Life Happen to Planning Life’s Happening: Take control of your destiny by actively planning your life’s course. This proactive approach allows you to shape your future rather than being shaped by external circumstances. I learned this firsthand when I dreamt of becoming an Olympic coach. Because I wasn’t a champion. Because I didn’t have my gold figure test. Because I did not train with a star coach. Because I didn’t have the politics in my corner. 

Because, because, because I stopped letting others plan my life for me according to what was “reasonable” to them, I instead kept my eye on what was most important to me. Eventually, one thing led to another, I became well known for an emerging discipline in the sport that put me in the spotlight and my dream eventually came true. Interestingly enough, you may recall my sharing in an earlier blog that I indeed became a professional pairs champion. It happened the same year my student earned his birth on the US Olympic team.

By making these shifts, you can move from a place of limitation and reaction to one of empowerment and intention. This transformation is key to living a life that truly reflects your passions, values, and aspirations.

Stay tuned as next month we discuss tools you can incorporate into your life to prepare for life planning, I share a personal story, and we explore the science behind life planning.