Authenticity and Self-Awareness

Posted on by Byron Darden

Intentionality sometimes challenges my clients. For them, it is devoid of authenticity. The question is how you can be deliberate and still be authentic. Being intentional and deliberate is about making choices. We can still be our authentic selves and make mindful choices.

Intentional leaders are confident in their execution and transparent in their direction. They still allow their team flexibility on how to meet set objectives. Your team is involved in the discussion leading to the decision, and the final say is clear and concise.

Intentionality means heightened self-awareness, which can parallel what it means to be on stage acting in a play. It can seem exhausting to be “on” when acting in a play. Yet in corporate, we too have our costumes (professional dress, business casual), our stages (offices, conference rooms, and Town Hall podiums), and our scripts (presentations, conversations, coaching, and mentoring).

Intentionality also means planning and yet being prepared for the unexpected. We see this in the consulting world, where much planning and preparation takes place with the understanding that when we walk into a client to present, we are prepared to throw all our planning out of the window and deal with what is in the moment. While we may base our next move on the plans we had, we execute based on our ability to think on our feet.

PREPARE FOR THE UNEXPECTED

Think, Say, Do

Posted on by Byron Darden

As a leader striving to be more purposeful, you want to remember a few things. To get the engagement, we will want to put forth the effort. A keynote speaker rarely speaks off the cuff. They may allow room for improvisation at specific points in their presentation. Yet most improvisation is carefully rehearsed in our intentional preparation for thinking on our feet, being in the moment, and simply remaining present to whatever is around us. That way, we can easily use the world around us because we are steeped in the present moment.

When you strive to be a more intentional leader, think about development in these areas:

  1. Approach each situation with a clear mission, goals, objectives, and priorities: Know the big picture and why your team should care.
  2. Control the speed of the decision: Ensure you have the facts and opinions of others before making a final decision. This is where you give your team a say and get buy-in. This is also a time when you shine. It’s perfectly acceptable to step back and clarify details as needed rather than heading off in a direction based on the heat of the moment.
  3. Keep lines of communication open: Conversations and relationships among your team ebb and flow. Emotions, feelings, and thoughts all factor into the process. As an intentional leader, you are aware and react with mindfulness.

My parent company is Triple Axel, the name of a jump in figure skating and adapted to a triad of what you think, say, and do. According to Consultant and Business Coach David Meltzer, these are three of the five levels of intention. Let’s take a look at them.

  1. What you do: Follow up with actions and ensure those actions align with your feelings, beliefs, thoughts, and words.
  2. What you say: Becoming intentional with our words is about controlling their impact. Consider how the recipient might respond. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
  3. What you think: Beliefs lead to the formation of thoughts. We have many thoughts each day; not all are positive or helpful. Intention lies in sorting these thoughts and controlling which ones come from our mouths.
  4. What you believe: Beliefs are formed from feelings and our personal experiences. We have underlying subconscious beliefs that serve as our guide and limiting beliefs that do not serve us. It’s essential to examine our beliefs to discover how valid and valuable they truly are.
  5. What you feel: This is your intuition – that ache in your gut that screams, “Run!” or “Go for it!”. When we learn to listen to our gut, we can connect to our inner guidance.

Intentionality seeps through into each aspect of our leadership experience. Not only do we strive to become intentional with our feelings, beliefs, thoughts, words, and actions, we can cultivate these in our employees. We do this by creating a culture of continuous improvement. Here are a few ideas to put this into action.

  • Lead by example: Set your intentions and encourage your team to do the same.
  • Communicate regularly: Be clear in your requests and ask for input from your team. Encourage participation from all members.
  • Empower employees: Happy employees are the ones that feel heard. Be aware of your team’s thoughts and feelings and address issues as they arise.
  • Small steps lead to big success: While focusing on the big picture, it’s essential not to forget the process. Minor, incremental improvements are critical to the end result.
  • Celebrate successes: Results achieved through continuous improvement should be celebrated.
BE PURPOSEFUL

Set Yourself Apart

Posted on by Byron Darden

According to a recent Gallup poll, only 33% of American workers feel engaged in their work, and one of the primary reasons for this is their boss. We have already spoken of the importance of employees needing to be heard. Employees want the freedom to express their creativity, and they want to work for a leader who instills confidence and has their back. An intentional leader guides without holding anyone back.

Having one-to-one meetings with your team members also allows for curating their intentionality. Show up with a well-thought-through plan that involves concrete steps. Set goals together, and as a basis, answer three questions for each goal – what, why, and how. Encourage your team to think about these steps as well. This will create engagement as well as build an intentional relationship.

CURATE INTENTIONALITY

An Intentional Journey

Posted on by Byron Darden

“Choose your intention carefully and then practice holding your consciousness to it, so it becomes the guiding light in your life.”
— Roger Delano Hinkins

To some, living and speaking with intention comes naturally. For others, there are challenges due to limiting beliefs, past experiences, imposter syndrome, and more. Our stories define our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. Becoming intentional brings clarity.

It takes time to figure out what drives you and translate that into your behaviors. Rest assured that you are not alone in your journey. Through the years, I, too, have gone down this path, and I have a strong sense of how you might feel. I aim to help executive women like you and other high potentials for leadership positions navigate the sometimes-murky waters of the corporate world.

Together we can discuss intentionality and other leadership skills to help you thrive with your team and in life. Book a call to discuss your situation and see how I can help You become a leader with purpose on purpose.

SCHEDULE A CALL

Value of Openness in Leadership

Posted on by Byron Darden

How open-minded are you? Do you have tunnel vision and feel there is only one way to accomplish a goal, or are you open to diverse ideas? Do you tolerate other people’s views even when you disagree with what they say?

Openness is one of the five basic personality traits (the others are conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism) used to measure one’s character and how they might respond to situations in the workplace.

Your level of openness is affected by how you were brought up, your education, the company you keep, and how you interact with others. Whether you are aware of it or not, your peers and subordinates recognize openness in your interactions. They react to you accordingly and adjust their behavior based on their perceptions.

In this installment of our leadership series, we explore the value of openness in leadership – what it is, how you can nurture it in your leadership style, and how it can benefit your working relationships.

EXPLORE

Founder’s Corner

Posted on by Byron Darden

Openness is about acceptance rather than agreement.

It’s about broadmindedness rather than closed mindedness.

It encompasses tolerance rather than intolerance.

Openness is also about taking interest rather than being indifferent.

Openness is about Being in one place and yet willing to go to another.

The value in our willingness to be open, is what we profit from by taking a risk. By pivoting when circumstances suggested staying the way I was, just got me more of what no longer worked for me. Something I’ve been doing all my life, finding what works for me!

There’s a wonderful share by Vera Nazarian an Armenian-Russian American writer of fantasy, science fiction and other “wonder fiction” who says:

“It’s a fact—everyone is ignorant in some way or another.
Ignorance is our deepest secret.
And it is one of the scariest things out there, because those of us who are most ignorant are also the ones who often don’t know it or don’t want to admit it.

Here is a quick test:
If you have never changed your mind about some fundamental tenet of your belief, if you have never questioned the basics, and if you have no wish to do so, then you are likely ignorant.

Before it is too late, go out there and find someone who, in your opinion, believes, assumes, or considers certain things very strongly and very differently from you, and just have a basic honest conversation.

It will do both of you good.”

There is a quote by Kenneth Chenault, chairman of the board at American Express and one of the organization’s most beloved former CEOs.

Who Says, “It’s not the strongest or the most intelligent who survive, but those most adaptive to change. Over the past 10 years, the need for, and focus on, adaptability has accelerated.”

On that note I’d like to share that I have taken notice of both Kenneth Chenault’s and Vere Nazarian’s thoughts related to openness. I’ve decided to be adaptative and change my mind! When I began this series on the Executive Voice, I focused on Values based leadership. From there I went to openness, the focus of this addition of Leading with purpose on purpose. Next comes Intentionality followed by Consistency and ending with a surprise change of thought, engagement. Stay tuned as I demonstrate what many of us avoid like the plague….Change!

What is Openness?

Posted on by Byron Darden

Let’s consider two managers. The first meets with their team and lays out a plan for a new marketing campaign. It’s not their first campaign, and therefore are well-versed in the target audience. Building on past success, they already decided on a course of action before stepping into the meeting. While the manager has an outstanding team in front of them, there is an unwillingness to accept alternatives. The team heads back to their desks and starts to work on the project, yet something is missing.

The second manager has the same goal. Armed with some data, they present the campaign concept to the team. The difference is that the team lead opens up the discussion when they’re done with the introduction and facts. The team brainstorms ideas that have worked in the past and new ones that would open up a whole new audience for the product. The team is ready to dive in by the time the meeting ends.

Same concept – two approaches. The critical difference is openness. Manager one appears narrow-minded. Their ideas might have merit, although this leader was unwilling to entertain other views. Their actions might have been unintentional, yet they demonstrate prejudice – something I believe we’ve all been victims of at one time or another.

Manager two encourages individuals to speak their minds and offer opinions. The team is encouraged to bring all ideas to the table without fearing judgment. Questions are asked, and discussions ensue. The team feels heard and part of a cohesive unit.

Contrast narrow-mindedness to openness, a state of being that lacks restriction and leads to transparency, a buzzword we hear more often in the business world in recent years. We tend to hear about transparency when it conveniently reframes a time when transparency was not a focus. We hear it when trust needs to be built or re-established.

What is helpful to note is that with such an effort in recent years to speak of transparency in the workplace, one might experience this with a more critical ear. Is transparency really happening, or is it a sign of “the lady doth protest too much, methinks?” When leading others, be mindful that you are truly being transparent rather than creating smokescreens for others to fumble through in an attempt to discern the difference.

When we as leaders fail at truly being transparent, such behavior will lead to team members’ doubting your intentions, ultimately generating a lack of trust. Then you have the opposite of openness to overcome.

BE OPEN TO COACHING

The Opposite of Openness and Its Impact

Posted on by Byron Darden

Openness is counter to narrow-mindedness, defined as unwillingness and intolerance of other people’s views—essentially, this state of being demonstrates prejudice. Prejudice is an ongoing burden that many carry, like old baggage that would be more beneficial to put down. We have seen that bag of prejudice dragged out in politics, in communities across the globe, and within every organization in some way or another.

Because where there are people, there are conflicts. Where there are conflicts, there are sides taken. When sides are taken, it is worth some introspection to determine whether it’s based on preference or preconceived opinion with no basis in experience or reason that can be explained and understood.

Yet, it is much easier to build connections when we allow ourselves to be open to others, particularly when others demonstrate openness in return! Otherwise, we shut down and feel frustrated, angry, and fearful—these feelings we experience in our bodies. Surprisingly, I’ve discovered how few leaders easily relate to their bodies and how negative feelings impact us biologically.

It can be difficult for people to grasp the impact of negative feelings on the body. These are not emotions that fare well in the business world. I hear it all the time from leaders that “those are unwanted emotions in business.” Yet they turn up largely due to the human condition encompassing conflict and ill feelings.

Therefore the significant question born of this inevitable circumstance is what can be done about it? I believe it all boils down to one word, curiosity. When curiosity strikes, fear is typically put aside, and possibility is born.

When you consider the concepts of good & bad, right & wrong, it is wise to recognize that these are judgments. When you feel judged by others, what reactions come to mind as ones you’d have in moments of being judged?

For 100% of my clients, when I ask the above question, the responses are all grounded in negative, unmotivating outcomes. When you consider the impact of negativity, how do you imagine those feelings would manifest were they pebbles thrown randomly in still waters?

The ripple effect of waves in still water can become so significant and concerning when they cause a boat to capsize. Or when living animals surface to experience turbulence in the water that is unsettling. Or even fatal. So, what do you do?

CONNECT WITH ME

Becoming More Open

Posted on by Byron Darden

After looking honestly at your leadership style and examining your biases, you might want to become more open or at least want to cultivate openness as a leader.

One of the fastest and most effective ways I’ve learned to practice openness is to master two things. Number one, be genuinely curious; number two, find something about what you learn or hear that resonates.

Want to know how I do it? Become fascinated with your limited knowledge about whatever the other person is sharing. An example of this might be that you do not relate to playing golf as your senior leadership might. You may not even like the game of golf, yet that is what senior leadership values. You might ask yourself how much you know about golf to connect with them. Instead, learn why they like the game so much. Here are six actions you can take:

  1. Expand your knowledge about the activity (in this case, golf).
  2. Gain insight about golf that you did not know. Showing your interest can go a long way when it’s genuine.
  3. Gain insight about the person or persons to whom you are opening up.
  4. Recognize this as an opportunity to learn about their passion. It could prove an ideal insight into building that relationship.
  5. Demonstrate compassion for what is meaningful to them.
  6. Look for something about what you learn that resonates with you or connects to your business issue.

I cannot stress enough the importance of finding something that resonates with you. Pretending to be curious is like an actor pretending to be a character. It won’t fly with an audience, and your reputation will suffer. Faking curiosity is like rotting fish; you smell its presence long before encountering the actual fish. As a dear friend reminds me, the fish rots from the head down. When you smell it, know that the rotting smell trickles down from its beginnings. Remember that when a leader is not genuine, that attitude will permeate the entire team over time in much the same way that rot spreads.

I learned this as an actor when I landed my first role, leading me to become a professional. It was a role that opened me up to the possibility that what I experienced in my personal life, I also experienced as my character interacting with other characters facing the same issue of being marginalized in the story unfolding on stage. That was a crossover moment for me.

OPEN YOUR MIND

Why is it Important to be Open?

Posted on by Byron Darden

Limiting thoughts nurture limiting words and actions that render little.

Should you find yourself closing down toward someone, that is an excellent time to ask yourself these questions.

  • What am I not aware of in this moment? Remain patient and allow insights to occur to you in their own time.
  • How can I respond to the other person by choosing to become curious? Demonstrate curiosity about what impassions this person rather than the topic alone.
  • How does this person’s experience resonate with me? Rather than dismissing and limiting your thoughts or opinions, identify with whatever engages you. Ex: Golf may not resonate. Being outside may!

There are numerous benefits of openness in the workplace:

  • Discover new perspectives. Those from different backgrounds from us tend to think differently or see a situation from a different angle. When you are open, you can hear ideas without prejudice and develop more than just your one point of view.
  • Promotes a friendly and collaborative environment. Being open means not taking things personally. It means open communication and the capacity for trust and teamwork.
  • Contributes to flexibility and teamwork. Openness encourages new perspectives and open-minded thinking. In addition to expanding your knowledge base, it will help you work well with others – a valuable soft skill in any environment.
  • Willingness to take risks. When you work in an open environment, you are more likely to feel comfortable expressing your opinions, and your authentic self will shine through.
  • Nurture leadership skills. Openness is a valuable leadership quality, so when you are ready to take the next step up the corporate ladder, being open is worthy of your portfolio of skills and behaviors.
  • Builds trust. As we open up to others, they are more likely to open up to us. Similar to taking risks, experiencing others taking risks builds our own faith in what we are capable of as well. When we discover that our environment is open to risk, we trust more in what we may have to contribute to it.
DISCOVER