When something fails to work out as expected – leaving us with a negative outcome, it’s learned behavior to react by pointing the finger at someone or something. While there may be outside influences that contribute to the issue, the one thing that you can control is your choice of response. Effective leaders take ownership of their part of the problem, learn from setbacks, and create opportunities for improvement.  It’s important to keep things in perspective and consult your team for solutions. 

Developing your resilience soft skills involves self-reflection.  Take time to reflect on the situation, brainstorm possible solutions, and determine your next steps.

  1. Setbacks are often unexpected – or at least they seem that way.  Give yourself time to reflect on the situation.  This often results in the “Why me?” or “Life is unfair” inner criticism we fall prey to at times. Just avoid remaining in this state for too long.
  2. After some reflection, you might realize that there are things you could have done differently.  Identify the buttons that were pushed and your shortcomings in averting the situation.
  3. In many situations, there are elements out of your control and those that you can control.  Realize the difference and capitalize on what you learn.
  4. Make a plan moving forward and be prepared to work on your plan.
  5. Give yourself grace.  Setbacks happen to everyone and how you handle them will define you.
  6. While it’s tempting to blame outside circumstances, you gain more by looking at the situation from different perspectives.  Remember that when you point a finger at others, three fingers are pointing back at you.
  7. Throughout the process, stop and reflect on choices you make or decisions that led to the current unsatisfying situation. 
  8. Resolve to learn from the setback and recognize how you can choose differently in the future.