Building relationships are central to being human.  We thrive on our connection with others and our desire to be a part of the bigger picture.  We have a longing to be a part of a community where we live, work, and play in unity.  This is a way of validating ourselves and our purpose.

One of the hallmarks of a good relationship is the fact that it provides a mutual benefit to the parties involved.  The way we define this benefit is unique. Here are some possible ways.

• Build your Network – Creating a relationship with someone often leads to relationships with their contacts.  Of course, building a relationship based solely on who they might know is a recipe for disaster. Instead, genuinely getting to know someone can lead to more connections in the future.
• Improve Essential Skills – Communication, empathy, and teamwork all improve through interaction with others.  Developing these skills leads to deeper connections.
• Helps You Through the Hard Times – Solid relationships can help you both weather the ups and downs of the economy or a project.  A relationship can provide a sounding board and at least one person who solidly understands a situation.  The support must stay a two-way street.

Relationships can vary depending on the objectives of the parties involved.  There are three basic levels of working relationships to pursue: 

1. To start building simple relationships, identify potential people that you would like to get to know and open the lines of communication.  As you get to know each other, recognize differences and conflicts of interest, and decide that the relationship should move forward for mutual benefit.
2. As you proceed, start to develop more professional working relationships in individual, group, or team situations.  Engage and promote clear communication while recognizing any conflicts of interest and working through those to further mutual benefits.
3. Advanced relationship building will allow you to develop external relationships that will create business opportunities and influence change.  These will create a network and expand your horizons. 

Here are some things to keep in mind while building relationships.  None of these is more important than the other and any of these can make or break the dynamic.

1. Valuable Contribution – Relationships are give-and-take situations.  Each person must feel valued, and each person must provide value.  When either person feels the relationship is uneven, it will start to falter.
2. Encouragement – Knowing that someone is on your side is extremely important.  A great relationship provides this benefit.
3. Manage Expectations – Going into a relationship with thoughts that the other person is going to have all the answers and be your biggest cheerleader might set you up for disappointment.  Be realistic about what the other person can provide.
4. Mentoring – Realize that you each have something to learn from the other.  You might set up a relationship with someone who is a role model.  Treat that relationship with respect and honor the information given.
5. Confidentiality – Any relationship requires a sense of trust. When you share personal information, make sure you are clear and forthcoming that it is not to be shared with others.  Assume that it is not your story to tell unless you believe someone else is in harm’s way.
6. Collaboration – Working together on an activity or project is a great way to build relationships. 
7. Challenge – A relationship does not mean that you agree 100% of the time.  Knowing how to navigate this conflict and work through differences to reach a conclusion is vital.
8. Honesty – This really is the best medicine.  Work relationships ebb and flow just like all others.  When something is not working, don’t wait for it to blow up in your face.  Have an open conversation.