Pause for Your Audience

How do I know? I’ve spent two decades hearing from numerous clients worldwide to help their managers and leaders develop stronger platform skills during presentations. They want their people to be more effective when presenting to senior leadership and to their customer base. Sometimes it is a matter of simply slowing down during presentations. Mastering your pause is something we can work on together.

An example of this may be that moment when a presentation is in action and the speaker stops to check for understanding before moving forward. It could be that moment when the speaker says something profound and then allows for a moment of silence to let their point land for the listener. Perhaps a moment when a presenter completes a share of content. Then chooses to move silently from one place to another before speaking again on a different point.

Practice the Power of Pause

Practically nothing can be more frustrating for the listener than to miss important information because the presenter is in such a rush to share and move on. The next time you spend hours creating a deck for a presentation, take time to actually practice delivering content related to each slide you show. Become benevolent towards your audience by planning pauses throughout your presentation as well as before and after answering questions. Click Here and I can show you how that is possible.

You will also want to pause to check for understanding. Doing so can drastically minimize missed information, time spent backtracking to clarify what was said, and time spent reiterating what you meant because your audience missed what you wanted them to think, how you want them to feel, or what actions you would like your audience to take.

I recall one particular keynote I delivered at an annual conference for a group of four-hundred professionals at the Waldorf-Astoria’s Starlight Roof in New York. The topic was the importance of engaging, inspiring and motivating others in their field. Over lunch one of the conference attendees sought me out and commented on how powerful it was for him when I often paused after sharing a key point. He noted the skill as key for him in establishing me as a truly professional speaker. I thanked him and smiled knowingly.

Pause for Excellence

“It’s a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately filling up space.”  

—Pema Chodron

Pausing is creative. When done with excellence, it’s an art form that grabs your audience’s attention and prompts them to bring their focus back to your message. It’s a sign of a confident speaker to be able to pause without discomfort. For the speaker or leader, the power of pause enhances their experience. More than just standing in front of a group of people and rattling off a speech, they are creating an emotional connection with the material and their audience. The speaker conveys thoughts and feelings in an informative and personal way. By slowing down and using the power of pause, this connection deepens.

I’m Byron Darden and I’ve been using the power of pause to communicate effectively with my clients and audience. It’s one of the tools you can add to your repertoire to make you a more effective leader. Click Here to book a call. Together we can perfect your power of pause or another roadblock to your success. Just click the button below to schedule your conversation with me to explore your leadership education needs.

Tell Me Your Story

You’re never going to kill storytelling because it’s built in the human plan. We come with it.”

-Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

Those who have followed me may be familiar with my story and what brought me to this point in my career. In the event a Google Search landed you on this article, welcome! Click here to read my story.

My purpose here is to help you discover your gift of storytelling. Whether you tell your own story or use storytelling to accomplish a goal, there is no doubt that a well (or effectively) told story can make an incredible difference in perceptions and enthusiasm.

I’d love to hear your story. Click Here to book a 1:1 Executive Women Breakthrough Session – together, we can explore ways your story can benefit you in the boardroom.

Impact of Storytelling

Whether it’s the 70% of companies investing in one form of content marketing or another to transfer knowledge about products, or the 65% of our social conversations that are grounded in personal sharing and gossip, we rely on a story as our main medium of telling our tales that speak to our humanity and our spirituality.

Storytelling can sell a product or alienate a brand. It can raise awareness of social issues and change the course of society. Storytelling can make complex topics more manageable.

Storytelling is a powerful tool when used correctly. Relating facts is not enough. Interweave those facts into something your audience can care for – is invested in. Deliver the story with impact.

Telling a More Effective Story

Want to learn how to tell a compelling story? Begin by telling your story to a child. They forgive your ability while you hone your technique. They will keep you honest when you stray from the tale. Children will also reflect back on what you may want to attend to most when telling them a story.

Draw stories from your experiences in life that have been impacted by where you’ve lived or traveled. Gain inspiration from those who have supported you or let you down. Take your listener on a journey through the events and watershed moments that have contributed to who you are today and map how you’ve come to this moment.

Use stories to convince others to take action in sticky situations, interpret the past, shape the future, address issues, resolve conflicts, or face challenges. Structure your story to fit your objectives and nail the delivery.

How Does Your Story Define You?

Let’s say, for example, that you grew up with some challenges. You could look at your story in one of two ways. Either you are resentful that you didn’t have all of the advantages you felt you should have, OR you picked yourself up, brushed off the dust and moved forward in the face of adversity.

Same circumstances, yet two different stories can emerge. It’s all in the way you tell your story. An example is when I tell the story of visiting the family farm and accompanying my grandmother to gather eggs. It was the event I learned that one must take risks to move ahead in life. Told differently, it could also convey the importance of listening to your elders.

I encourage you to take some time to think about how you present your story to others/your audience. Is your story holding you back, or is it propelling you forward?

Here are some thoughts to get you thinking about your story:

  • How did you get to where you are today?
  • What traumas or triumphs have you experienced?
  • Who was your inspiration?
  • Why did you choose this career path?
  • Why should I listen to you?

No one has the same story – use this to your advantage – to bring a unique perspective to your leadership role.

“Leadership is autobiographical. If I don’t know your life story, I don’t know a thing about you as a leader.”

-Noel Tichy

If you are struggling in your role, defining your story can be a catalyst for change. It can unlock deeper relationships and unearth untapped resources.

Storytelling to Create Change

As we move from one extreme to another, we are granted the gift of a story to tell of how we journey as people in our personal lives and leaders in our business or community lives. We tell of our evolution as man and womankind and all the variation in between.

Here are some examples of extremes we may face in our lives and how we can journey from one to the other through story. These experiences impact us in specific ways and define our story. The examples below are just a few of my own that spark stories that brought me from one extreme to another:

Move awayGo ToFor the purpose of
Private TransportationPublic TransportationContributing to fewer emissions issues
ArguingReasoningLimiting unproductive fighting
RushingTaking our TimeLimiting the number of missteps or reducing anxiety
JudgingAffirmingBenefiting from greater curiosity
IndifferenceCompassionDemonstrating care for others
TextingTalkingDeveloping a more human connection
TalkingListeningAllowing others to be heard

Importance of Your Story

We share our culture, beliefs, and ways of life through stories. We champion our strengths and successes, teach life lessons, and expose our vulnerabilities and shortcomings. These are the stories of leaders.

As people, we are believed to be hardwired to respond to stories most over alternative forms we use to share information. What’s more effective, a list of dry facts and figures or an interwoven story that puts us in the heart of the action?

The resulting impact of the story on the brain contributes to the production of “oxytocin.” The hormone, often referred to as the “love hormone,” increases during hugging and orgasm. It also benefits us in treating depression, anxiety, and intestinal discomforts. Oxytocin also contributes to maternal behavior and social bonding.

Oxytocin also builds trust, which is one of storytelling’s primary goals. I experience this when working with groups of leaders within an organization. When I share personal stories, each with a clear point focused on the topic, a connection emerges from the group that allows them to trust whatever lesson I am teaching at that given moment.

Case in point: I recently watched a short series on Netflix titled Luckiest Girl Alive. The lead character, TifAni, tells the story of how she was raped in a private boarding school. Soon after her essay is published in the New York Times Magazine, Ani (the shortened name she goes by as an adult) receives one message after another from other women praising her for her courage to tell the truth. This prompts each of the women who message her to share their own stories of being taken advantage of at some point in their lives.