Author: Byron Darden

Founders Corner – Somatic Abolitionism Part II – Stressors

Posted on by Byron Darden

I recently encouraged you to explore ways to destress your life. It’s one of the most significant topics clients bring to me to help them deal with workplace anxiety, frustration and overwhelm. It wasn’t until I dealt with this topic myself that I was able to support leaders in every industry and at every level of leadership about how to more effectively face this issue with resolutions that work. I call it The Practice.

It encompasses a number of activities you can choose from to help you deal with any stress you face in the moment. Let’s take a look at some situations that can lead us down the rabbit hole of overwhelm. Perhaps you face workplace disagreements that escalate into anxiety. Maybe you missed deadlines that caused your stress levels to rise. It could be A colleague who snaps at you in the heat of a discussion. Or speaks to you in a way that makes you feel less than or unworthy of consideration. You may be facing annoyances with your job that cause you to want to quit. Or you may just want to find a way to say no to more work being piled on you that you are unable to accomplish in a timely manner.

These are just a few examples of why it is important to develop The Practice so that you can face work-life stresses with grace and poise that allows you to keep your cool and rise above the challenges of leadership.

Hi, I’m Byron Darden bringing you another edition of Leading with Purpose on Purpose. In this installment, we do a deeper dive into how to face common stressors at work. We’ll offer you tools, tips, and activities that help you to actively address those stressors. I’ll also share a personal story about how I’ve come to learn that there is no such thing as a bad practice. And we will address the effect on 264 million people worldwide who suffer from stress-related issues that lead to anxiety and depression. Are you one of those? Is there a way to remove yourself from that list? Read on and learn more. Enjoy!

Continue to learn about the Stressors.

Common Stressors

Posted on by Byron Darden

Life is full of stressors, but The Practice can help you manage triggers and maintain composure. Common scenarios might include:

  • Workplace disagreements that escalate into anxiety.
  • A challenging situation that goes unresolved at the moment.
  • Missed deadlines that cause your stress levels to rise.
  • Showing up late for an important meeting.
  • Feeling triggered by your boss or senior leader’s sharp comment.
  • Undue pressure you place on yourself.
  • Misspeaking when sharing details of a deal or negotiation.
  • A colleague who snaps at you in the heat of a discussion.
  • Navigating frustrating moments, such as getting stuck in traffic or having a tough conversation with a direct report.
  • Getting caught in unexpected traffic on your way to a client’s site.
  • A driver that cuts you off on your way home from work.
  • A train that blocks your path and seemingly goes back and forth, not clearing the tracks.
  • A frustrating moment with a client or customer.
  • A stressful feedback session with another staff member.
  • A bonus that does not come through as expected.
  • Annoyance with your job that causes you to want to quit.

Whatever the source of stress, anxiety, or trauma of some kind, you can draw on The Practice to help you embody a change that can deliver you to the centered place where you can return to functioning well and moving through your days with ease and self-assurance.

LET’S TALK

Get ready to Actively Address the Stressors.

Founder’s Corner – Somatic Abolitionism, Part 1

Posted on by Byron Darden

It’s February 2022. I’ve just published a blog on restorative self-care. I share in my Founder’s corner my plans for a year of restorative self-care trips, events, and activities in 2020 after far too long of a time without a proper vacation. Then in one weekend my plans are preempted by COVID. Just like everyone else’s plans that year.

Fast forward to March 2022 when I took a trip to Florida as an attempt to make up for what I missed in 2020. Little did I know then that Restorative Self-Care would become a major focus of mine leading right up to today. Since then I’ve taken a deep dive into more ways to restoratively care better for myself and to share what I learn with you. Those of you who have worked with me have experienced orienting, something I learned from Resmaa Menakem, author of My Grandmother’s Hands.

Hi, I’m Byron Darden bringing you another edition of Leading with Purpose on Purpose. As I continue deepening my knowledge, my goal is to deepen yours. So this month and in December, I am introducing you to somatic abolitionism as a way to help you determine where some of your stress may be coming from and how to metabolize the trauma that causes that stress.

We face it every day in our lives at home and at work and given that a reported 77% of Americans alone experience physical symptoms related to stress such as fatigue, headache, upset stomach, muscle tension, and changes in our appetite, I can only imagine the impact on a global scale.

While we may not be able to avoid stress, we certainly can do our part to metabolize the trauma that leads to 2.8 million workers annually according to the United Nations Labor Agency. It is at this point in my founder’s corner when I usually end with, enjoy. Instead, I encourage you to…take note!

Let’s get started on this theme with Embodied Wellness: A Path to Holistic Well-Being

Embodied Wellness: A Path to Holistic Well-Being

Posted on by Byron Darden

Most of us are constantly juggling responsibilities, deadlines, and challenges that can take a toll on our mental, emotional, and physical health. Whether it’s the pressure of a demanding job, personal obligations, or the accumulation of stress from daily life, we often find ourselves feeling disconnected and overwhelmed. Despite our best efforts to manage stress or practice self-care, it’s common to feel like something is missing—a deeper sense of balance, grounding, and ease that can carry us through life’s most challenging moments.

In response to this growing need for a more integrated approach to well-being, many are turning to methods that go beyond surface-level wellness routines. We need something that speaks to the triad of our minds, our bodies, and our spirit. This is where embodied practices come in—philosophies and techniques that help us reconnect with the body and draw strength from within to manage external pressures.

At the heart of these practices is Somatic Abolitionism, a powerful, body-centered approach that encourages us to embrace our full human experience—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Unlike many wellness methods that focus on mental strategies alone, Somatic Abolitionism emphasizes the importance of tuning into the body’s wisdom as a means of knowing, healing, restoring balance, and cultivating resilience. This is a philosophy for those who seek a holistic way to navigate life’s complexities with confidence and clarity while learning to take responsibility for and the metabolization of that which led to the existing limitations.

Let’s explore what Somatic Abolitionism is, why it’s essential for holistic well-being, and how it can help you manage stress as well as thrive in every aspect of life as a leader.

EXPLORE MORE

Continue on to Somatic Abolitionism to learn more.

Somatic Abolitionism

Posted on by Byron Darden

Somatic Abolitionism is an embodied philosophy—a living, breathing set of practices you can adopt to improve your life and build culture in organizations. Much like an athlete builds their strength, endurance, and agility over time, Somatic Abolitionism helps you develop the ability to remain present and active for extended periods. It emphasizes keen observation of what is truly important and valuable in life, making it more than just physical wellness; it’s a practice rooted in the body and extending deeper into the emotional, mental, and spiritual realms. All three of these are key aspects of human culture that profoundly influence how an organization develops and functions.

While the term “embodied” refers to being connected to the body, “embodiment” goes even further. It means living from the organism we identify as the body, rather than just relying on the mind to make sense of the world. By practicing embodiment, we connect with our body’s innate wisdom and experience life from a holistic perspective.

In much the same way an organization can be embodied by its members or employees. As such, the organization is an organism made up of the bodies that give it meaning, live by values, and set out to achieve a mission. It needs the heart of its people to make sense of the world it serves by drawing on collective wisdom and experience. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the origins of Somatic Abolitionism, here is a brief history:

Somatic Abolitionism was developed by Resmaa Menakem, a therapist and trauma specialist, as a response to the profound effects of racialized trauma on both individuals and communities. Menakem’s work draws from somatic therapy, a practice that emphasizes the role of the body in storing and processing trauma. The term “Somatic Abolitionism” refers to the embodied practices that work to dismantle racialized trauma stored within the body.

The origins of Somatic Abolitionism can be traced back to Menakem’s understanding of how trauma becomes decontextualized over time. He explains that trauma, when left unaddressed, can transform from an individual experience into what seems like a part of one’s personality, family traits, or even cultural identity. His work draws on the collective history of racialized oppression, noting that racial trauma has been passed down through generations, impacting bodies across cultures.

Menakem integrates practices from somatic therapy, mindfulness, and ancestral healing to form a holistic approach that goes beyond intellectual strategies. He encourages individuals to confront the discomfort and pain embedded in their bodies, advocating for repeated, communal practices to build resilience, heal trauma, and foster cultural transformation.

Somatic Abolitionism, while deeply rooted in addressing racialized trauma, offers principles that can be beneficial to a wider audience beyond our experienced racial injustices. At its core, the practice emphasizes healing trauma stored in the body, developing resilience, creating more inner spaciousness, and cultivating emotional and physical well-being. These are universal human experiences, as trauma can arise from a wide range of sources beyond racial injustice, such as personal stress, family dynamics, professional pressures, direct and indirect experiences of hate, war, crime, or even the impact of global crises.

Somatic Abolitionism can be understood as a powerful method for addressing any kind of unprocessed trauma, whether it stems from grief, loss, workplace stress, or childhood experiences. Many people experience trauma in ways that become embedded in their physical bodies—through chronic tension, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm. By focusing on embodied practices like breathwork, grounding exercises, and mindfulness, Somatic Abolitionism can help anyone process these feelings and regain a sense of balance and calm.

Moreover, the practice’s emphasis on emotional regulation, resilience-building, and holistic well-being can apply to professionals in high-stress environments, parents navigating family life, or anyone seeking to improve their overall health and organizational culture. It provides tools to manage stress more effectively, create deeper self-awareness, and enhance one’s capacity to deal with life’s challenges.

For example, someone struggling with workplace burnout can use the principles of Somatic Abolitionism to reconnect with their body, observe where they hold tension, and develop strategies for releasing that tension. These practices foster emotional intelligence, which is useful in leadership roles, personal relationships, and any situation where stress management is key.

CONNECT

Ready to put this into Purposeful Practice?

Purposeful Practice

Posted on by Byron Darden

Addressing trauma is important for many reasons, including:

  • Mental Health: Unresolved trauma can lead to anxiety, depression, and emotional difficulties. By dealing with trauma, you can improve your emotional well-being and regain balance in life.
  • Physical Health: Trauma can cause stress in the body, leading to physical issues like chronic pain, heart problems, and other illnesses. Healing trauma helps reduce the risk of these conditions.
  • Relationships: Trauma can make it difficult to connect with others. When you address your trauma, you can improve how you relate to people and build healthier relationships.
  • Breaking the Cycle: When left untreated, trauma can negatively affect you, those around you, and future generations. Healing yourself helps stop trauma from being passed down.
  • Resilience: Facing and healing trauma makes you stronger and better equipped to handle future challenges with confidence.

Overcoming trauma is crucial for overall well-being, as it soothes and lessens the negative impact on mental, emotional, and physical health. Doing so also falls under the heading of restorative self-care.

Where much of our focus is centered on the mind—problem-solving, planning, and intellectual engagement—it is easy to become disconnected from the body’s innate wisdom. The body holds the key to deeper healing, resilience, and clarity, particularly in moments of stress or challenge. This is why developing a practice that emphasizes embodiment is crucial.

The Practice, as I call it, serves a three-prong purpose.

  1. Calming and Centering: You experience a centeredness that integrates your body, mind, and spirit. This inner calm helps you manage stress and anxiety, which is essential whether you’re transitioning into a leadership role or already operating at high levels of responsibility.
  2. Addressing Trauma: Whether you’ve experienced trauma directly, witnessed it, or inherited it from your ancestors, The Practice offers a pathway for processing and healing these wounds.
  3. Restorative Self-Care: Engaging in this practice cares for your whole being. It allows you to face life’s challenges with grace and poise, even in the most difficult moments.

You can incorporate The Practice into your daily meditation or whenever you feel a sense of disconnect. Or simply need to prepare yourself to connect.

REACH OUT

Foster Growth Through Continuous Learning

Posted on by Byron Darden

Continuous learning is essential in today’s rapidly evolving work environment, where the demand for new skills is ever-present. In fact, according to a study by eduMe (an education training company), 87% of employees acknowledge that acquiring new skills is necessary throughout their careers to remain competitive and effective in their roles. When you consider that statistic, also consider my sharing about what is happening in primary and secondary school education. Just the idea of the 87% acknowledgment of employees understanding their need to acquire new skills, imagine what it took to get them to that point and line of thinking. 

Should we fail at paying attention to the early years of education of our youth, imagine what the COVID Kid generation is up against when it becomes time for them to take over the reigns! This statistic underscores the importance of a lifelong commitment to learning, as staying current with industry trends, technologies, and best practices not only enhances personal growth, it also ensures sustained professional success. Embracing continuous learning allows you to adapt to changes, seize new opportunities, and maintain your relevance in an increasingly dynamic job market.

While it would be ideal for employers to consistently offer learning and development opportunities, the reality is that the majority of personal skills development falls on the individual. Waiting for external opportunities can lead to stagnation, making it crucial for professionals to take ownership of their growth. Investing in your own education—whether through online courses, workshops, certifications, or self-directed study—empowers you to stay ahead of industry changes and position yourself for career advancement. By proactively seeking out learning opportunities, you ensure that your skill set remains relevant and robust, ultimately making you more valuable in any professional setting. Taking charge of your own development is not just a necessity; it’s a powerful way to shape your career trajectory and achieve long-term success.

As a leader, it’s essential to recognize the critical role you play in providing learning opportunities for your team. While individual initiative in personal development is important, creating an environment that encourages and supports continuous learning is equally crucial. By offering access to training programs, workshops, mentorship, and other educational resources, you empower your team members to grow their skills and stay ahead of industry trends. This not only enhances their professional capabilities but also fosters a culture of innovation and adaptability within your organization. Just be sure you are not simply going through the motions of educating so that you can check the box for offering training that falls short of getting the job done!

Moreover, as a leader, you set the tone for the importance of continuous learning by modeling it yourself. When your team sees you actively engaging in your own development, it reinforces the value of lifelong learning and motivates them to follow suit. Providing learning opportunities and encouraging skill development helps build a more resilient and dynamic team, positioning both your employees and your organization for sustained success in an ever-changing landscape. By investing in your team’s growth, you’re not just enhancing their individual potential—you’re also driving the collective progress and long-term competitiveness of your organization.

“Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” — John F. Kennedy

Continuous learning plays a vital role in both personal and professional success. The back-to-school season is more than just a reminder of the academic year—it’s a metaphor for the perpetual growth that defines our careers and leadership journeys. As we enter this season of renewal and focus, it’s crucial to remember that our commitment to learning doesn’t end when we leave the classroom. For leaders, executives, and educators, every day is the first day of school. As long as that continues to be you, everyone will flourish including you.

Now is the time to embrace the opportunities that come with a fresh start. Whether you’re aiming to advance in your career, take on new challenges, or foster growth within your team, commit to being a lifelong learner. Start by identifying one area where you or your team can grow, and take action today. Seek out new knowledge, invest in skill development, and model the continuous learning mindset that will drive your success. Remember, the journey of learning never truly ends. It is an ongoing process that fuels our ability to lead, innovate, and inspire those around us. It’s the key to thriving in an ever-changing world. Lead the way by making learning a priority, and watch as you and your team flourish together.

Ready to take your leadership to the next level? Reach out today and ask about the CORE Leadership Toolkit—your essential resource for continuous growth and development. Start building the skills that will empower you and your team to succeed in any challenge. 

SCHEDULE TIME

Resilience, Success, and Tips for Growth

Posted on by Byron Darden

Once when I was in the chocolate manufacturing business, a reporter wrote a story about me in Black Enterprise Magazine. He also wrote another article about me in USA Today. Two things that struck me regarding his view of me were one, everyone he writes about is a success, and two, anyone who has gone through what I have gone through should have been out of business long ago. Yet I prospered. Learning that I’m thought of as a relentless optimist fits who I am and the influence I possess in getting people where they want or need to be in their careers. I’d like to think of myself as a relentless optimist with integrity and humility.

Here are my Tips to Grow By:

  • Identify Your Audience: Understanding your audience is the foundation of effective communication. Take the time to research and identify who you are speaking to. Learn their needs, preferences, and pain points. Tailoring your message to resonate with your audience will ensure that it is received with the impact and relevance you intend.
  • Set Clear Goals and Precise: Clarity in your objectives is crucial for success. Clearly define what you want to accomplish, and be as precise as possible in articulating these goals. Whether you’re aiming to inform, persuade, or inspire, having well-defined goals will guide your actions and keep you focused on the outcomes you desire.
  • Manage Expectations and Adjust as Necessary: Setting realistic expectations helps prevent misunderstandings and builds trust. However, it’s also important to remain flexible and open to adjustments as situations evolve. Being adaptable allows you to navigate challenges and make necessary changes to stay aligned with your objectives and the needs of your audience.
  • Communicate Early and Often: Proactive communication is key to preventing issues and ensuring everyone is on the same page. By communicating early and often, you foster transparency and collaboration, making it easier to address concerns and keep projects moving forward smoothly. Consistent communication helps build stronger relationships, and greater trust and ensures that everyone involved feels informed and engaged.
  • Master Concision and Clarity: In today’s fast-paced environment, clear and concise communication is more valuable than ever. Avoid unnecessary jargon or lengthy explanations, and focus on delivering your message in a straightforward and understandable way. Clarity ensures that your audience grasps your key points quickly, minimizing confusion and maximizing the impact of your message.
LEARN AND GROW

Wrap up the Back to School theme with Foster Growth Through Continuous Learning and Learn to Embrace Opportunities.

Lessons from Leadership, Skating, and Relentless Optimism

Posted on by Byron Darden

When I began my formal career in leadership development I wasn’t always a quick study. I was thorough with my studies. I asked lots of questions and listened to many perspectives. I learned that no matter what I thought I knew, or how I felt about others and questioned when I could apply my knowledge, I was continually reminded that there is always room for improvement and other ways of thinking about everything. I remember one of my mentors commenting that of all the qualities I possess, two of my greatest is being a life learner and applying what I learned immediately. I wasn’t one to wait for the “right” moment. I took what I had and turned it into a practice that allowed me to progress quickly. Skating was one of my greatest teachers of those two qualities.

In the sport of figure skating, literally, every second counts. I learned that as a choreographer, technical coach, judge, collaborative partner both as a pair skater and coach, performer, and leader of skaters’ careers as an eligible, competitive athlete. I’ve also drawn on my keen sensibility to advise athletes on where they might go beyond the ice rink. In one case a skater was deciding between pursuing an MBA over a law degree. Every aspect of one’s being in the sport of figure skating is honed and perfected to the greatest degree possible. Always with room for improvement presenting itself in order to continue moving forward. 

Another mentor acknowledged me for being a relentless optimist. I wasn’t sure this was a compliment. Afterall, the word relentless can lead to unpleasantness and cruelty. My awareness of this has pulled me back from the brink of going overboard. Yet, I’d rather be accused of this as an optimist than any number of alternative descriptors of me and my work. No matter what I was up against, even today; I always find a way to do better, work smarter, focus more, and commit myself to let go of excuses and make it happen. 

Your personal Back to School time is the opportunity to hone skills that will make you an effective leader:

  • Communication Style – Learn your style of communication and continue to build on it. Adjust it. Hone it and develop it in order to benefit from it.
  • Interactions – Every interaction is an opportunity to improve your style and effectiveness in communicating well enough to influence outcomes.
  • Feedback – Whether giving it or receiving it, do so humbly and with great appreciation. Even that which challenges you. Then be sure to learn from it.
  • Coaching – Support others as though your career depends upon it. You want to prepare yourself for it to come back to roost to your benefit. And it will!
  • Messaging – Care about what you say, how you say it, when you say it, and to whom you say it. Mike Lipkin’s magical words are powerful when he shares, “Who you are being when you are saying what you are saying. Says more about what you are saying than what you are saying.”
  • Strategizing – In the words of Marshall Goldsmith, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. Remain on the lookout for what will move you ahead and bask in where you are now so you are grounded for your next leap of faith.
MAKE IT HAPPEN

Learn about Resilience, Success, and Tips for Growth.

Founder’s Corner – Back to School, Part 2

Posted on by Byron Darden

As we continue acknowledging what it means to be Back to School and its connection to being back to business, it is important to consider how often we mean back to business as usual. I have a different take that opens the conversation to what it means to be back to business unusually. Here’s why.

Since 2020 very little is as usual as you are sure to be experiencing. Before 2020 the idea of a hybrid work environment may have been true for some. Yet it became true for nearly all as organizations were faced with managing workers’ from home and then moving to splitting their time between office and home. Some brick and mortar businesses closed all together and their businesses are now being run from leaders’ and employees’ home offices.

Virtual meetings skyrocketed from 48% to 77% between 2020 and 2022. Recent research just one year later in 2023 suggests an increase of 66%.

I can only imagine what statistics will say about 2024 considering that at the start of 2018 4 billion people were on the internet. That number grew in 2019 to 4.39 billion people using the internet. And by the start of 2024 5.45 billion people were using the internet. That’s 67.1% of the world population.

While that number may not inform us just how many of those people contributed to the number of virtual meetings that take place, it does suggest that business is not as usual. For example, the people who make a business run well cover a very diverse range that historically may not have always been acknowledged. That lack of acknowledgement is also no longer usual.

Here is an example of what I’m talking about. We have a significant number of celebrations this month that include a range of diverse people in business among which are Breast Cancer Awareness, LGBTQ+ History and National Disability Employment Awareness.

In addition we are observing National Work and Family as well as Global Diversity Awareness. To those we also salute Employee Ownership, Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Wellness, and Financial Planning. The last three of which are particularly significant to what we address here at Triple Axel Executive Coaching for leaders. So this month we are taking into account all these celebrations as the month of Workforce Inclusivity.

Hi, I’m Byron Darden with another edition of Leading with Purpose on Purpose. As we continue our Back-to-School installment, we dive into the value of optimism when it comes to managing people, and how important it is for leaders to grow in their resilience by embracing opportunities and finding ways to continuously learn how to meet the ever-changing demands of leading organizations and developing the people within them. Enjoy!

I’d love to share my story in Lessons from Leadership, Skating, and Relentless Optimism